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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH walking out on me

6 replies

rockymountains · 26/02/2023 12:06

LONG POST** sorry

DH & I been together over 12 years and we have two small DC.

Things have not be great lately and I have tried to address them with DH on numerous occasions and I really tried hard to try and fix the problems between us. However, DH refuses to talk or just ignores me or pretends he doesn't remember. Numerous occasions he's mentioned he's only with me cause of the kids etc, and for a long time has made me feel like he doesn't love me and I'm not worth anyone times.

I told him I want us together and to work on our problems but told him to not waste our time & if he doesn't want to be with me then please tell me etc.

Yesterday we had a fight over finances, for the first years of living together I covered ALL bills and he gave me his card to spend on whatever I needed etc and transferred if I needed more. While on Mat leave we decided that he would pay all of rent and I would cover all other expenses as he gets way more than me. However, since then he's remained me every month and on top of that he doesn't tell me what he gets, there is no way of sitting down with him to discuss finances, savings etc. I told him he is difficult to live with and that he's not financially mature. Back and forth arguments, he shouted he's moving out next month and I will cover all costs etc.

I let him rest it out a night but it seems he's still going ahead. I feel really sad inside, and I made it clear to him before, if he walks out of this family, I won't take him back again.

Anyone else been through this, how do you cope ? I'm trying really hard to keep my chin up because he's belittled me enough and if he doesn't fight for me then why should I fight for someone who made clear he doesn't want me and no one else ever would.

OP posts:
DowntonCrabby · 26/02/2023 12:09

You deserve much better than this, as do your DC. Flowers

Tolatetotheparty · 26/02/2023 12:34

I would let him leave. Sounds like your marriage is over. You still have years ahead of parenting. Do you really want to be bringing your kids up in a marriage like this? He has checked out already and you would probably be better on your own.

rockymountains · 26/02/2023 12:40

Tolatetotheparty · 26/02/2023 12:34

I would let him leave. Sounds like your marriage is over. You still have years ahead of parenting. Do you really want to be bringing your kids up in a marriage like this? He has checked out already and you would probably be better on your own.

Your probably right...

OP posts:
Topseyt123 · 26/02/2023 12:41

Let him leave. Sounds like he's doing you a favour there. You deserve better, as do the children.

magneticmoon · 26/02/2023 12:52

Sounds like you will be significantly better off without him. Let him go and at the same time decide to live your best life, free from him.

You may uncover more as you go. Cheating, for example. Be prepared. And if he isn't being open with his finances, get a good divorce solicitor ASAP.

Treetopviews · 26/02/2023 12:55

Agree. Let him go. When it’s done it’s done.

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