@Mumof3lions, I assume this is the female colleague you referenced in January, the one he is having an emotional affair with.
Although he claimed otherwise, it was clear that your H and OW are building an illicit intimate relationship. He has now admitted that he previously had a crush on her. His denial that he is currently infatuated is a lie, as is his faux claim that she’d never be interested in him.
He is investing much more emotional energy, time and attention in OW instead of in you and your 3 young children. He gives her his rare free time, and is constantly messaging, advising, and helping this married woman. He has joined her running group, even though he initially said he wanted to share that activity with you. They also may be swimming together.
When you previously expressed discomfort with OW’s attitude and their ‘OTT banter,’ he denigrated you by telling her that you called her a bully.
@Mumof3lions, he’s making a mockery of you and your children. I find it outrageous that he dismisses your feelings, calls you controlling, and
blame-shifts his blocked transparency to your ‘sensitivity.’ I hope you realize that these are manipulative tactics used to hide his infidelity. This devaluation of you is par for the course, as he enjoys putting down your work/study and accusing you of faking illness when you’re vomiting.
He doesn’t behave like you’re ‘his everything,’ He has placed OW on a pedestal, puts her first, and treats you like trash. This is untenable. I wouldn’t tolerate his faithless behavior, and would show him the door so he’d clearly understand what losing you and his family feels like. I’d also visit a solicitor to learn my options. 