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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He has a gf. How to get over him.

4 replies

daffodilblue · 23/02/2023 20:29

I'm a single mum of 2. Never had a relationship after my dh died 7 years ago.
A few months ago I had this odd urge to text this guy I went to high school with. We would chat from time to time, but I never really saw him like that. But believe it or not, I had a dream about him, and I couldn't stop thinking about him since then.
So we started chatting, then I began to like him. I confessed my feelings, he was so surprised. And then he told me he's sorry because he has a girlfriend back in our home country.
However, he told me he's always liked me but he just wasn't sure how to approach me then because of my situation.
I tried to stop talking to him after I found out, but he would message me still, and so I just gave in. We would meet every time he'd come up to London.
I knew I really liked him, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for a relationship because it was all new to me again. Nevertheless, I fell in love and so did he.
However, he couldnt break up with his gf because she's coming over to visit him. I didn't know that he was so confused between us that he broke up with her once but they got back together because I told him that I wasn't sure if I was ready.
She's arriving this Saturday. We stopped talking last week.
I feel guilty, but also extremely sad and heartbroken because I've never met anyone in my life that I had an incredible connection and chemistry with. I'm a closed book person, but it amazes me how he knows what I'm thinking without him realising. We quickly felt comfortable towards each other in a short span of time. We found out that our grandfathers share then same first name and birthdays! Our parents' situations are also the same.
And then I realised that even when we weren't close before, he always felt pleasant and there's this calmness and awareness between us.

I honestly don't know the point of this post.
Maybe I just want to talk to people I don't know because I'm sad. I know it was wrong, but he just felt so right 😔😔😔

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 23/02/2023 20:37

You’ve fallen for the notion of love with an unavailable man
if the connection was mutually so strong he’d break up with the girlfriend
i feel sorry for you both. A charming charismatic man has strung two women along

AnneLovesGilbert · 23/02/2023 20:38

I’m sorry you’re hurting.

He’s not a good guy. If he really liked you he’d have split up with his gf and not gone back to her even if you didn’t know what you wanted. He’s been hedging his bets in a very cynical way. He’s chosen her and he’s messing you both around even though doesn’t know why.

Abc12389 · 24/02/2023 05:21

He’s not a good man. He’s strung you along and lied to his girlfriend. You’d never trust him. Block and find someone who is available.

CalloohCallayFrabjousDay · 24/02/2023 05:40

He's an arsehole. Taking advantage of the situation and having his cake and eating it! He doesn't want to split up with his girlfriend- otherwise he would have done already.

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