I'm having strange feelings about a strange situation and don't expect you to empathise, but a bit of time to talk would really help

[babyonboard]

Does anyone remember this thread?

Hi BB
belated congratulations

Just wanted to say, that when I had my eldest, she's nearly 17, a lady came up to the ward with her newborn... She had no idea she was pregnant, in fact they had been told they were unable to have children, so you can imagine their delight. She had been complaining of stomach pains, her hubby had called the doctor who told her she was in labour! She had been working right up to that point. She was quite a celebrity on the ward.. lots of students and doctors round the bed etc TBH until reading your thread, I hadnt thought of the upset at not having been able to experience the months of pregnancey.. more of what a great suprise they had.

Sending you a warm hug
x
x

Hi again bob - my friend is very up and down with her situation - she suffers from depression and panic attacks but these started before her concealed pregnancy. As I said, the anniversary of her DS's birth is tough as she re-lives her own and everyone else's shock. She also carries a great deal of guilt about not having had any ante-natal care although her DS is totally fine and lovely. She now feels that she needs to work through her emotions about the circumstances or her DS's birth (amongst other issues) and is going to have cognitive behavioural therapy to try to address how she deals / dealt with the stress of it all. I don't know if this is right for you but maybe talking to a professional might help.

I just wanted to share what happened to a lady I used to work with.

Her son called her from the hospital to say his wife was in the maternity ward and that she was a Grandma!!!!!!!!!! They'd called the doctor out thinking she had appendicitus, dr realised what was going on called an ambulance. When they got the the hospital they told them that she was in labour with a pre-term baby.

Baby was actuall full term, weighed nearly 7lbs and grandma had seen her the week before and she was not pregnant looking at all. The mum was a gym instructors, taking the pill and therefore bleeding each month.

You are so not alone, I'm sure they've all done lots of grieving too - it was their first child and they had absolutely nothing, not even planning to have aother.

Please take time to grieve for what you missed out on, my first prgnancy was far from happy and once I realised I needed to grieve for it things got better.

i know someone this happened to, she has a lovely, engaging little boy now. She didn't know she was pregnant until she was in labour with a full term baby.

How about this one- a woman who was unaware she was pregnant with triplets!

(BTW I don't read the Mail, it was linked to from a parenting blog I read!)

I just think - good for you in having a body that has obviously adapted so well to pregnancy that you got through it without any discomfort or problems.

I think people make these very unkind comments because it is difficult for women who've had lots of pregnancy symptoms to imagine a pregnancy that's so differnt. I wouldn't doubt your relationship with dp too much. I had a friend who didn't realise she was pregnant until she was 30 weeks and she and her dp are as sensible and rational couple as you could meet with what seems to be a strong relationship. What's more she'd been to see her GP because she'd been going to Slimming World and wasn't losing any weight and the GP didn't realise she was pregnant either and just told her she needed to stick to the diet better!

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Tell your dc the story of their special birth as the miracle it is.

what a shock it must have been for you. i didn't twig until i was 9/10 weeks gone wiht my dd since i was doing other stuff and the tiredness/nausesous feelings I could account for with lifestyle issues (ok, after a few weeks, i was in denial - I am not saying that you were though). fwiw, my mum equally was in blissful ignorance of bwm (me) hiding in her womb until she was about 4mo pg and i was her 4th baby! she'd had a terrible time giving birth to my sister and I think had resolved on no more children. then she moved house and was too busy to think about it!! it can happen. i think you need support to help you move on and enjoy your dd now. you need to grieve for the pg you didn't have and celebrate the one you did have. do let us know how you get on.