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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I strongly dislike DH

49 replies

Carmah · 22/02/2023 21:04

If we didn't have 2 very young DC then I would have walked long before now.

Before marriage, I always said that I'd never stay with someone 'for the sake of the kids'. However, that was easy to say when those kids didn't exist.

If you've been in my position, have you stayed or left? Did you regret your decision? Did things improve as a result?

OP posts:
teezletangler · 23/02/2023 07:37

I once heard some advice that was not to split while your children are very small, and while it's obviously not entirely true (some men are total shit, as evidenced daily by MN) there is something to it in cases where couples were happy/functional before DC. Is that you, OP?

The worst time in our marriage was when we had 2 small DC. I hated DH at times and I remember it being the only time he has ever said during a row that he was close to walking away. It is such a difficult time for many couples, you are in the thick of the drudgery and have lost connection to each other. Things drastically improved for us when DD2 was 3, however we both wanted to put the work in.

bakewellbride · 23/02/2023 07:41

@teezletangler youngest is 11 months and I'm struggling with dh. Thank you for giving me hope.

teezletangler · 23/02/2023 08:09

@bakewellbride hang in there, for most people I think it really does get better if your relationship was solid before babies. I'm sure we both daydreamed about throwing in the towel at times, but glad we didn't!

Carmah · 23/02/2023 08:27

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Our eldest is approaching 3 but our youngest isn't yet 1 so I feel we have a ways to go. We were happy before the kids came along (until I uncovered the deceipt which, I'll be honest, I'm struggling to get past). He broke my trust and my feelings for him changed after that, as did my behaviour towards him.

I'd be willing to work on that though as I don't think he's a bad person and he has many qualities. However, he'd need to want to meet me in the middle and put in some real effort which I don't think he has the capacity to do at the moment due to work and the chaos of having 2 little ones.

I don't want to make any hasty decisions that I'd later regret. As a PP suggested, I think I will see it out for the next couple of years and re-evaluate things then. He is a 50/50 parent and i'd struggle massively doing it alone at this stage.

OP posts:
LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 23/02/2023 08:43

Absolutely. I stayed, and I think I regretted it - it was a horrible way to live and ended in disaster when they were teenagers.

Like you, with two small children leaving seemed impossible. I had no faith in my ability to earn or give them a decent lifestyle, was horrified at the through of them ever going to him alone for even a weekend, and couldn’t bear the thought of how nasty and manipulative and angry he would be if I did break up the marriage. So I do understand how you feel.

Would it have been better to leave? Well, I suspect it would have.

It turned out I am perfectly capable of earning good money; I would probably have met someone fairly soon too which would have helped on that front.

Even though he’s a rubbish dad he’s still their dad, I couldn’t protect them from that forever, and me being around all the time wouldn’t stop them from seeing he was a rubbish parent. Splitting when the children were young and less able to understand exactly what was going on would have been better than doing it when they were teens.

Would the split have been horrible? Undoubtedly, because we did split and it was horrible - but when it was done things were so so so much better. Which is why I say divorce is like childbirth - messy and expensive and painful, but doesn’t last forever and when it’s over it’s so well worth it.

I haven’t read the full thread but I have worn your shoes but taken the ‘stay together’ path. It did have some advantages - we had a very comfortable lifestyle and financial stability (he is a good earner). And I was able to live out the destiny I inherited from my unhappily married martyr mother - I didn't expect to be happy in marriage.

I hope you find a path you are comfortable with. Solo counselling helped me enormously.

80s · 23/02/2023 08:51

He is a 50/50 parent and i'd struggle massively doing it alone at this stage.
Wouldn't he stay a 50/50 parent after you broke up? That's the ideal, isn't it?
My parents separated when I was 4 and it always made total sense to me - they clearly didn't fit together. The only things that bothered me were not seeing my dad, and being shunted from one childminder or aunty to the next as my mum moved far away from my dad. Both my parents remarried lovely people - my stepparents were a very positive influence on my life.

arethereanyleftatall · 23/02/2023 08:55

Left. Bit older kids. Massively improved for everyone.

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 23/02/2023 08:57

Please correct me if I am wrong but why on earth did you have children with him after discovering what he did?

QueefQueen80s · 23/02/2023 09:15

My parents stayed together, my exes stayed, and all I see is misery.. they say they are "of a generation" who don't leave.
When I left ex no-one questioned it even though he's a good man. I even think they quietly applaud my bravery at choosing to be alone.
I am so much happier! Ex is a dependable great dad like your husband sounds and that makes all the difference.

QueefQueen80s · 23/02/2023 09:18

80s · 23/02/2023 08:51

He is a 50/50 parent and i'd struggle massively doing it alone at this stage.
Wouldn't he stay a 50/50 parent after you broke up? That's the ideal, isn't it?
My parents separated when I was 4 and it always made total sense to me - they clearly didn't fit together. The only things that bothered me were not seeing my dad, and being shunted from one childminder or aunty to the next as my mum moved far away from my dad. Both my parents remarried lovely people - my stepparents were a very positive influence on my life.

Exactly.. 50/50 is fantastic for me. I get time alone and my time with the kids is even better as I've missed them and had a rest.. same for ex. They get our full uninterrupted selves. If he's already a good dad then having to do it alone half the time could be the making of him.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/02/2023 09:56

I wouldn't make a rash decision. People on MN are quick to say leave, but a man would have to be pretty bad for me to want to split the time with my children and struggle to pay for things on my own (just being honest!).
re: The deceit, you have to ask yourself if you want to punish him and are still upset or whether you actually no longer trust him. If the latter than it may be time to move on.

Carmah · 23/02/2023 10:15

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 23/02/2023 09:56

I wouldn't make a rash decision. People on MN are quick to say leave, but a man would have to be pretty bad for me to want to split the time with my children and struggle to pay for things on my own (just being honest!).
re: The deceit, you have to ask yourself if you want to punish him and are still upset or whether you actually no longer trust him. If the latter than it may be time to move on.

Good question! TBH I think it's the former. I am still upset about it and in a way, want to punish him (which I'm aware is completely unhealthy and if someone else said that I'd be saying, 'find a way to get past it or move on'. I think solo counselling as a PP suggested is a good idea to help me try and move forward, whether that be with or without DH.

Like you, I can't entertain the thought of being away from my DC for any length of time at the moment as they're so young. I want to be fully present for them all of the time and I know DH would feel the same.

It's not so much what he lied about that bothers me, it's the lying itself (which had been going on for a long time when I found out). Once someone breaks your trust it's very difficult to view them in the same way. Or it is for me anyway. I'm aware that I've changed towards him as a result of this and that will likely, in part, be contributing to the way he is.

OP posts:
StickyFloor · 23/02/2023 10:22

For me it's a fairly simple process - what would be better and what would be worse if you split.

It's all very well on MN when posters talk in absolutes. He's awful, so leave. But that's not the whole story.

Your whole life, home, finances, free time, joint parenting, being available for both kids etc are all part of this, and probably all of those things will be harder if you split.

Whatever his deceit was and the natural feelings you have been left with, is it worth unsettling all of the above?

Successgirl2022 · 23/02/2023 10:36

How long have you been married for?

Most marriages go through crises. Often every 5-7 years.

We've gone through a few in 17 years of marriage and I am happy we survived them. Our son is 15.

You can pm me if you wish.

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 23/02/2023 10:39

It's better to split than model an unhealthy relationship. Just don't move in step-parents to your children's home afterwards - that's what really makes things bad for them.

Successgirl2022 · 23/02/2023 10:43
Successgirl2022 · 23/02/2023 11:03
GG1986 · 23/02/2023 13:38

teezletangler · 23/02/2023 07:37

I once heard some advice that was not to split while your children are very small, and while it's obviously not entirely true (some men are total shit, as evidenced daily by MN) there is something to it in cases where couples were happy/functional before DC. Is that you, OP?

The worst time in our marriage was when we had 2 small DC. I hated DH at times and I remember it being the only time he has ever said during a row that he was close to walking away. It is such a difficult time for many couples, you are in the thick of the drudgery and have lost connection to each other. Things drastically improved for us when DD2 was 3, however we both wanted to put the work in.

I completely agree, having young kids is difficult and you lose your way a bit and life just becomes stressful and samey. We've just had another baby and I seriously dislike my partner right now, he's driving me nuts, but i am also a hormonal mess and also probably difficult to live with, I also don't want him anywhere near me as I feel disgusting, so for now the intimacy has gone which is never helpful. Only you know your partner and if you feel you can continue your marriage, us mumsnetters can't decide that for you. I agree counselling on your own rather than together could be helpful. Good luck

cooldarkroom · 23/02/2023 13:47

Yes, I stayed, I regret it deeply every day
I have wasted my life. Too boot, he has now had a stroke & I'm the carer of someone I dont like, never mind love.
I should have taken the short term pain & difficulty & given myself a chance of meeting someone I loved & respected.
There were many reasons not to leave, but ultimately I made a lot of bad choices through, naivety & fear of non survival.
Big BIG mistake

Birdsmaking · 23/02/2023 14:38

@cooldarkroom that is so sad, I'm sorry. Is there any way things could change for you now?

Xztop · 23/02/2023 18:41

I stayed for 10 years because I didn't want to break the family up.
2020 I just couldn't take anymore and ended it. Within 6 months we were ALL so much happier. I wish with all my heart I hadn't wasted all those years staying.

Birdsmaking · 23/02/2023 23:38

@Xztop I’m in that situation now - contemplating staying together for the kids. What would you say to your past self/someone in this situation?

SchoolTripDrama · 24/02/2023 16:29

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 22/02/2023 21:26

As the child of two parents who "stayed together for the kids", please don't.

I spent my childhood with a permanent atmosphere and the knowledge as an adult that my parents would have been happier apart, but didn't because of me

Same!!! Except there was also violence - towards us all, as well. I've always resented the fact that my mum stayed with my Dad.

Xztop · 24/02/2023 19:12

@Birdsmaking I would say just be brave and follow your heart. Kids are always better off with 2 happy parents even if they aren't together! Dd has a great relationship with her dad now,way better than when we were together. I am still single but exDH has found someone else and seems really happy. It has worked out for the best for all of us.

As I said I stayed for 10 years thinking it was the right thing to do, I wasted all of my 30s. I became a shell of my former self. I'm back now and so much happier, everyone has commented how like my old self I am. As soon as he left it was like a weight had lifted. I just wish I'd been brave enough to end it when I realised I didn't love him any more. I was unwittingly cruel to all of us by dragging it out and trying to make it work.

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