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Any Hope?

6 replies

mellowyellows · 22/02/2023 09:52

I'm 53 and I have decided to give the dating apps one last try. Have any of you found any particular apps work for 50 somethings?

I'm finding it difficult to find men my age or slightly younger or older that I think I might click with. I just want to find someone I fancy and can have a decent conversation that isn't on the rebound.

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 22/02/2023 09:59

Lots of people do this successfully.

Watchkeys · 22/02/2023 10:06

Sorry, I posted too soon. Any of the popular apps will be the right app for you if the right person is looking at the same time. It's not about the app. Put yourself across well, and only engage with people who interest you. Put yourself across in as many places as you can, to increase your search field. Don't spend forever chatting online unless you want a relationship where you spend forever chatting online.

Just stick at it and drop the doom and gloom 'One last try' attitude. You'll try again in the future if you feel like it at the time, so take the pressure off this shot.

EBearhug · 22/02/2023 10:11

I'm 50. I've used Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid and Feeld.

Bumble is the one where women have to message first, but there are just as many strange men there as on the other sites (some exactly the same.) I've had dates from there, and from Tinder and from OKCupid (which I don't really like the interface of, but I did get a few dates from, so kept with it.) Very briefly signed up to Match but hated that interface. Haven't tried Hinge, PoF or others.

I only signed up to Feeld to see what it was like after someone talked about it, as I'd never heard of it, and my profile has the bare minimum needed to use the app. It's designed as a kink-friendly dating site, so might not suit everyone, but I've had some good, normal dates off it, and have met a particularly lovely man there, who I'm starting to think might be my last first date, so...

My summary would be it doesn't matter which site you use. Go for the one you find the interface easiest to use.

Whichever site, you will still get interest from men looking for a quick shag, who will talk about sex early on, who will ask if you want a threesome or will peg them or whatever else. It happens on all sites. You will also find lovely men looking for long term relationships who can do decent conversation on all sites, but you have to filter through a lot of chaff to find the wheat. You need a thick skin and patience, because there will be a lot more swiping no than swiping yes.

Watchkeys · 22/02/2023 10:16

You need a thick skin

No, you don't. You need to ignore any comments that don't float your boat, and the people who make them. You don't need a thick skin for dating apps any more than you need a thick skin to walk through town. Someone might always make an unpleasant comment; if such superficial engagement bothers you, you don't need a 'thick skin', you need to grow up and develop a sense of self worth.

mellowyellows · 22/02/2023 10:42

@EBearhug - thanks I haven't heard of Feeld, will check it out. I had an awful date on Bumble several years ago but may give it another try

OP posts:
FishandChipsarelife · 22/02/2023 10:50

My dad met someone when he was 60 online, they are still together 10 years later :) She's about 5 years younger I think.

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