Found out partner has used escorts / repeatedly done coke / lied

[Helphelpless]

As the subject says… we’ve been together 7yrs this year but not married and no kids (but this was we’d previously been working towards). I’m just absolutely devastated.

We bought our dream house last year, but I can’t afford to buy him out. Fixed term doesn’t end until next year. I just don’t know what to do.

There’s been historic issues and I thought we’d moved past them and were stronger than ever, but in the last few weeks it’s all unraveled and I’ve found all sorts of horrendous and sordid stuff. The lies upon lies. The messages and calls saying he’s doing one thing, when the phone logs and bank statements say otherwise.

He works away a lot, but basically anytime I’ve been away or he’s had a work’s do there’s been contact with escorts and / or cocaine taking.

I’ve confined in my parents but they don’t know everything. He’s not told anyone and I hugely resent that his family are unburdened by it all. I’ve been struggling at work due to it, whilst he’s just been promoted. None of it seems fair.

Brilliantly put. You’re so lucky you don’t have children with this vile man.

He's utter scum, an addict and walking disease.

Tell your parents the truth.

Live out the year completely separately in the house and sell it or move home with your parents.

Tell his family the whole truth.

Leave absolutely NOTHING out.

Do not protect him.

Coke and Prostitutes is the reason the relationship is over.

I hope you haven't any STI's.

Be SO glad you have fou d out what utter and complete scum he is.

Tell everyone the truth.

Your life will flourish once you have rid it of this pollutant.

Your subconscious and body already knew what he was up to but hung in in denial - this is an exhausting and diminishing way to live emotionally and physically.

Once you have stepped out of this paralysing sewer and healed properly your career and life will flourish. You won’t look back and you will have a sense of sheer relief - especially when in time you will sadly hear and see others who have lost their hard earned homes to partners debt and are saddled with raising the DCs alone of these gross men.

It’s a big thing for this generation of women. The unfortunate women of our mothers generation had ‘only’ the horrors of living with the alcoholic ripping their life apart.

Now the coke heads add earlier collapsing mental and physical health, more debt and the bring horror of prostitution to your intimate life alongside the nasty volatility characteristics of the coke addict personality.

Sell the house, cut your losses. You would probably end up selling it even if you stayed with him not knowing the truth. His promotion may be short lived he may even end up losing his job and become unemployable if his coke habit turns into addiction or he gets arrested with prostitutes.

In may be very difficult now but later you will realise what a lucky escape you had from a lifetime of misery for you and kids.

I bet the coke makes him feel untouchable. What a complete cretin of a man.