Really need some advice as father is alienating our daughter and it’s so awful.

[Cookiemonster83]

Small bit of history he was found guilty of abuse in court no contact for 3 years, sent on dapp and anger management etc then slow reintroduction supervised and unsupervised for a few times now every other weekend. Daughter almost 7.

The last voicemail he sent me many years ago said when I get to see her I’ll make sure she knows the truth.

Well despite many years passing and all those courses he is indeed sticking to that plan. He is telling her on his contact weekends lies about our relationship, some of them are so awful. Daughter is coming home in tears asking why I was so cruel. He’s undermining her foundations, she is unsettled at school and at home.

Wether he is doing it intentionally or whether he just wants her to see him as the victim I don’t know.

I don’t know whether to correct the things he’s telling her or not because she believes him. But then all she is getting is two stories none of which she actually remembers. We are not supposed to be doing this, we are supposed to be making her happy about being in both houses. She now thinks me and my mum are cruel.

I don’t know what to do we were at court already for 3 years.

I would speak to a domestic violence organisation, nspcc and or solicitor. They would be best placed to advise on your options and how to protect your daughter. Sadly you will not be the first or last person in this position. Abusers rarely stop abusing. I am sorry you are going through this

@HappinesDependsOnYou ive been there, spent £1000’s on barristers and solicitors, none of it has been of any use.

He is emotionally abusing her, he shouldn’t be allowed access.

Contact womens aid. They have solicitors that can help you for free.

You'll have to go back to court and challenge the contact order. Ask to go back to supervised contact only. This is clear emotional abuse and the court should see it as such, if findings have already been made about previous abuse.

Gather as much evidence as you can from your daughters teachers, doctors, social workers. Document the harm that his emotional abuse is doing to her mental health.

Sorry this is happening to you.

Stop visitation asap, he's abusing her and you.

Social services asap!

So have "Rights of Women" if they're still going.

Doesn't this come under parental alienation and emotional abuse.

It does come under that. I’m not convinced he is doing it to get at me in particular (although in the end it does as I hate to see my daughter like this and for her to tell me I’m cruel just kills me) I have always just believed he thrives off the supply and he needs her adoration. He is really messed up. We have only finished court a few months back after years, her he is exactly the same.

Do I just lodge an application, will I not be seen as causing a fuss and trying to ruin there relationship? I want them to have a relationship but not at the detriment of mine with her.

Get social services involved! This is emotional abuse. He will mess up your daughter for life.

@firstmummy2019 can I get them involved even though we’ve been signed off by Cafcass just before xmas and they deemed him safe now?

This is a new development. Contact them asap.

Yes speak to cafcass, I had this , went to court and judge ordered the person to stop being emotionally abusive. They had to have supervised contact after. My girls used to come home conflicted and quiet, I would take them for a walk with the dog where they would start to open up, we would then gently discuss what had been said. My sympathy op, it's a hellish situation, only advice is to stay strong and speak the truth, and your daughter will be ok.