Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

'Romantic love is a myth and quite dangerous'

33 replies

Pyewhacket · 21/02/2023 09:31

Dame Emma Thompson warns people to take it 'with a pinch of salt' and that 'if anyone thinks that happy ever after has a place in our lives, forget it'.

Quite probably the most irritating person in London but does she have a point ?.

OP posts:
JamSandle · 22/02/2023 07:25

People often confuse infatuation or a crush for love. I know I do. Lust and falling in love is a rush. Love itself is steady, stable, calm.

Allblackeverythingalways · 22/02/2023 07:36

JamSandle · 22/02/2023 07:25

People often confuse infatuation or a crush for love. I know I do. Lust and falling in love is a rush. Love itself is steady, stable, calm.

Steady, stable and calm is a great description.
My last ltr was a compromise due to loneliness and a need to be wanted.
Then I got together with someone I've known for over 20 years, it's mind blowing how easy this relationship is.
We are (as a PP said) Excellent friends that have great sex.
Swept off your feet style, Prince charming type love? Bullshit.
I can't stand Emma Thompson, so it smarts to agree with her 🤣

magicthree · 22/02/2023 08:13

I do believe love probably is a real thing, but it’s so much rarer than we think.
Most people are just co-dependent, scared to be alone, go with the ’LifePlan’, in it for lifestyle and money, demands from their partners etc.
How many couples actually had any RealLove in the begin with?
I’d guess not many.

I agree with this, and yes, I do believe there are some fortunate couples who do experience real love, and there are others who refuse to settle for anything less and would rather be alone. I can remember thinking this when I was a teen, and that most people I knew were marrying because it was what you did, and they wanted children.

electricmoccasins · 22/02/2023 08:21

The Greeks got it right with their eight different types of love.

Western culture today is so hung up on Eros. We need to focus more on Pragma when looking for long-term commitment. Some people are addicted to Eros. It’s basically a drug.

Tuilpmouse · 22/02/2023 10:53

electricmoccasins · 22/02/2023 08:21

The Greeks got it right with their eight different types of love.

Western culture today is so hung up on Eros. We need to focus more on Pragma when looking for long-term commitment. Some people are addicted to Eros. It’s basically a drug.

Part of our problem is that "love" means so many different things to different people. Our vocabulary is severely lacking in this area compared to, say, the Greeks, and I think we get tied up in knots and talk cross-purposes a lot as a result.

Tuilpmouse · 22/02/2023 12:21

I agree with this, and yes, I do believe there are some fortunate couples who do experience real love

I think this idealistic notion of "real love" as some kind perfect state of transcendent long-long bliss that is reserved for a lucky few is rubbish, and can only lead to dissatisfaction and disillusionment.

I am now separated, but the love I had with DP was very real. Despite being real and strong, it wasn't perfect, and there were various fault lines which grew over time which eventually caused us to split.

JamSandle · 22/02/2023 12:21

electricmoccasins · 22/02/2023 08:21

The Greeks got it right with their eight different types of love.

Western culture today is so hung up on Eros. We need to focus more on Pragma when looking for long-term commitment. Some people are addicted to Eros. It’s basically a drug.

Yep yep yep. Love is not confined to one person.

Tuilpmouse · 22/02/2023 12:22

Tuilpmouse · 22/02/2023 12:21

I agree with this, and yes, I do believe there are some fortunate couples who do experience real love

I think this idealistic notion of "real love" as some kind perfect state of transcendent long-long bliss that is reserved for a lucky few is rubbish, and can only lead to dissatisfaction and disillusionment.

I am now separated, but the love I had with DP was very real. Despite being real and strong, it wasn't perfect, and there were various fault lines which grew over time which eventually caused us to split.

life-long not long-long 😂

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread