Just looking for a bit of a reality check.
Without boring you with the details, I've told my dh that I'm not happy (not surprisingly) and have tried to tell him we're better off apart etc. In our various conversations hes gone from completely dismissing it to being really angry and saying hes done and saying some really nasty things about me being an unfit mother etc (absolutely not true), to now in 'trying very hard' mode.
I'm over it. I've got nothing left to give now I'm exhausted with it all.
I'd booked a marriage counselling session with a view to Talking things through in a safe place where i could be heard. He refused to go, then said we didn't need it, it was a waste of money. Then eventually agreed but when it came to it, as predicted he made an excuse saying he didn't know when it was and couldn't make it.
I went anyway and will continue to go myself. He thinks this is a waste of money and says they will only tell me I need to make more of an effort and 'get a bit about me because I'm miserable'. She actually said I'm being gaslighted and that none of my needs are being met.
Hes suddenly being very nice, wanting to talk to me, trying to kiss and cuddle me, initiating sex for the first time in a year and talking about the future a lot. I just want to be left alone.
Hes just doing this because he knows I'm checked out isn't he?
I know therapy is expensive but It's not selfish of me to go to counselling after years of dealing with various levels of shit, is it?
I've been reading lots recently to make sure I'm not going mad and after reading Lundy bancroft I recognise him as Demand Man to a T. I'm worn out.
Is this just what they do to keep you putting up and shutting up?
I don't want to live my life in service to a man child anymore.