Would you/could you attend this wedding?

[FromLittleAcornsGrow]

I have been invited to a wedding this summer. It’s the grandson of my XH’s cousin.
I always got on well with his cousin and have always kept in touch with her even after the divorce.
I would love to go the wedding but my XH and the OW will be there too.
it’s not a formal wedding and I have been reassured that there’s no formal table plan that means I could be sat near them. But it is the first time since he cheated 8 years ago that we’ll be in the same place at the same time with her there and I feel really anxious about this.
I had hoped one of my adult DC would attend with me but for different reasons neither is able to.
XH family is VERY small and I’m likely to only know family members.
Do I go and hold my head up high? Part of me thinks it will be good practice for if/when our own children get married, have christening’s etc but the thought of going alone fills me with dread.
What would you do? What advice can you offer me? I really need to rsvp soon.

It is the perfect practice for when your own children marry. It will make all the difference for them to have their parents in the same room and civil. Try again to have one of your kids there. If not, ask a good and very polite friend. Pretend your XH is an extended relative and treat each other with respect. Eight years has passed so the OW is a fixture and dignity is the only way forward. Enjoy the wedding.

Could you bring a close friend with you as a plus 1?

Ask a friend to go with you - if you have any very hot male friends then it wouldn’t hurt - and make sure you’re looking good. Be civil to him and move on quickly to talk to other people - don’t get drunk

Thank you! I know if I go I will behave in a dignified pleasant manner. After all it’s the bride and groom’s special day. I’m just super anxious about being in the same room as them, even after 8 years!
I once bumped into them shopping together after about 6months and had a panic attack and had to leave the shop.
I don’t think taking a friend who they don’t know as a plus one is an option as their numbers are really tight and they have made it clear that they need to know asap who can’t come so they can add other friends.

Nope. I wouldn't. Y

You are already dreading it and you haven't even said yes yet. Although I appreciate the idea of using it as a practice run for future events, these other get togethers are going to be quite different. For starters, the weddings will be YOUR child's wedding, and you will be playing an important role. You will also be surrounded by your friends, family and other familiar faces. You will feel very differently.

I wouldn’t go. Sounds like it will be far too stressful for you after the bumping into them at the shopping centre affected you so badly.
I would send a nice card and gift and leave it at that.

politely decline and send a nice gift

I cannot see the point of putting yourself through that. I would politely decline.

Same for me.

I'd wish them well, send a present and not go.