Just looking for an outside perspective on things really.
I haven’t been with my boyfriend very long (nearly a year) and we just had a baby last month. I struggled with terrible morning sickness throughout my pregnancy and I have anxiety and depression. I asked if he would support me in the hospital for the birth and he said no because he needed his 7 hours sleep and he had health anxiety about hospitals. This was an initial red flag as I wanted some support (this is my first baby and I’d had a terrible reaction to anaesthetic during a previous op). He would come to visit for a few hours every day but then leave.
After coming out of hospital I went to stay at my parents as I felt like they could offer me the support that I needed with a newborn and anxiety. I suffer with terrible postnatal anxiety as she was quite poorly at first.
When he came to visit in the hospital, he shouted at my newborn when she was crying and has done so on a few other occasions. I mentioned this to him and asked him to stop and he said he was frustrated and wouldn’t do it again. I don’t know how to trust him with the baby when she cries as he gets annoyed and it only takes a second for something to go wrong.
He wants me to move in with him but I’ve seen other behaviour that puts me off, I can’t question him or his behaviour as it’s “attacking” him, he’s paranoid and always jumps to conclusions. He says this is just a result of me not living with him so he can’t see his child, but how do I get past this? My gut is telling me I shouldn’t move in as I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving my baby alone with him and obviously I’d need to at points to shower etc.
Just looking for some advice really, thanks in advance!