Hi all, sorry in advance for the long text.
I just feel so lost. My husband is in general a good person. Loving, supportive and kind. But there are somethings I just can’t stand. For context, I am 25yo he is 32yo. We have been married for 5 years now and we have a baby girl. We both work full time.
to start of, sometimes I feel like he is a kid. I need to keep guiding him on what to do everytime we clean the house. He never learns. everytime is “what should I do next?”. He will never take initiative to do anything in the house. Sometimes during the week he comes to tell me he has no clean underwear. I’m not his mother, he should check he doesn’t have clean underwear and put a wash on. He never does though.
he has disgusting habits, like scratching his butt and smelling it?!? It’s just repulsive and he thinks it’s funny.
when I was working part time I took care of the cleaning, because he pays most bills in the house (his salary is 4x higher than mine) so I found it was fair. But now I work full time, I don’t drive, so it’s very tiring to commute to work.
he is very loving to the baby, but can’t take initiative on anything. Doesn’t know when we need more diapers etc.
he also gained some weight in the last two years. At first I couldn’t care less. But now, I’m not allowed to take pics of him or with him, because he will make a scene saying he is fat and will be moody for the rest of the day. But he does NOTHING to change that.
I made a gym membership to support him to go, bought heathy food. But he doesn’t want to change!!!!! He said no one made me enroll to the gym, that he didn’t ask me too. We have healthy food at home, but he will order a take away pizza (dominos and eat a extra large pizza in 20 min). He has food compulsion and he will eat non stop. I try to help but he doesn’t want it. He just loves to complain and do nothing about it.
i won’t lie, I can be nasty with him because I get frustrated. I love taking pics, love having memories and every holiday we have it’s him being grumpy because I want pictures and he finds himself too fat and don’t want pics.
I will then loose my temper and say bad things to him. I don’t find in attractive anymore, not due to his weight, but because of the way he is with food and the non stop complain and no action to change.
sometimes I want to leave him, but to be honest I never had a good man reference in my life. My Dad never helped my mum, my uncles are the same.
are there better men out there somewhere???? Hahaha
sorry just needed to vent a bit, feeling very annoyed and overwhelmed.