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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Slept with my ex now he’s ignoring me

8 replies

Quelle · 19/02/2023 09:42

My ex and I have slept together a few times this year. We just cant seem to keep away from each other. It was a hard break up and we spoke about our relationship many times, he said he got his heart broken and he needed space. I gave him space but we still ended up sleeping together.

Since we have slept together he has been quite jealous, like asking me repeatedly what i was doing for valentine’s day, he’s said stuff like i’m his, i’m the love of his life (I think he was joking or being silly saying this) watching me sleep he’s just been saying little jealous remarks.

So i text him basically saying are we going to just sleep together when we see each other, he said he doesn’t know but things were good when we didn’t sleep together but its nice when we do. I said it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, he agreed. Then i said I think things are going that way because he’s coming across as jealous with the things he does. He just has not replied. I genuinely thought we would be able to work it out but it just seems to me he’s not on the same page? Despite it seeming like he still loved me. I feel so sad this morning and I know this is why you don’t sleep with exes

OP posts:
ZekeZeke · 19/02/2023 09:45
  1. He is your ex.
  2. Move on.
  3. Block him
  4. Stop sleeping with your ex.
  5. Stop sleeping with your ex.
  6. Stop sleeping with your ex.
Gapo · 19/02/2023 09:54

Only you can change this situation.

Weekenders · 19/02/2023 09:58

"I know this is why you don’t sleep with exes"

You may be onto something here.

nc1013 · 19/02/2023 10:04

I don't understand the 2nd part of your post.

You told him you thought that getting back together would be a disaster waiting to happen.

He then agreed.

You then told him he was acting jealous.

He didn't reply.

Is that right?

If so, I'm not sure what you expected him to respond with. It comes across as you not wanting anything further to happen and hinting at him to back off.....

But yes don't sleep with your ex!

Quelle · 19/02/2023 10:42

No it wasn’t about us getting back together it was about us sleeping together

OP posts:
Dery · 19/02/2023 10:51

It’s unclear what’s gone on to cause you to split in the first place but sleeping together when you’re not together is likely to stop you moving on and to cause more hurt and confusion in the long run. You’re posting here about him which you wouldn’t be if you weren’t sleeping together.

I also don’t see quite what he was supposed to say in response to your message. In my experience, it’s hopeless to have this kind of conversation in writing - far better to talk. But if you’ve split, it’s best to just keep away from each other for a while to allow each to recover.

nc1013 · 19/02/2023 14:03

Quelle · 19/02/2023 10:42

No it wasn’t about us getting back together it was about us sleeping together

But even then you were telling him it's a disaster waiting to happen and pulling him up for acting jealous. I'm not surprised he didn't reply as it sounds like you don't want to go there

KettrickenSmiled · 19/02/2023 14:16

We just cant seem to keep away from each other.
Start taking responsibility for the only part of this situationship you have any control over - your own.
This "we just can't help it" narrative is toxic, & robs you of autonomy. It's soap-opera crap, not real life.
The facts of the matter are - you CAN help it: just bloody stop seeing him.
Take PP's advice. block & go cold turkey.

It was a hard break up and we spoke about our relationship many times, he said he got his heart broken and he needed space. I gave him space but we still ended up sleeping together.
So ... you didn't give him space.
Neither did you "end up sleeping together."
You took a series of decisions that ended up with you taking off your clothes & having sex. That doesn't "just happen" - it is something you consciously chose to do.

You know it doesn't feel right, because it's making you miserable.
So stop!
Text him, wish him well, say that you are taking responsibility for giving it enough space to die a natural death ... & BLOCK HIM.

You may hurt for a few weeks, but that pain will diminish. Especially if you gear yourself up with a lot of distractions: organise outings, treats, interests, hobbies to look forward to, & prioritise friendships. You'll soon wonder what all the fuss was about, & feel much better when you are free of this toxic nonsense.

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