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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Grieving

2 replies

Mimi198 · 18/02/2023 00:02

I think I have to share my story to feel better. I work in a school. Last year, a young man name Dan came from time to time, doing short replacements. Always found him really funny and nice, great with the kids. I thought he was about 25, I am 32. At the time, I was toward the end of a relationship with a guy name Sam. The more I learned about Dan, the more I realised how much I had in common with him, not just hobbies, but also life goals and funny coïncidences. I also learned that Dan was the same age as me. Something click in my mind around the month of May. It was around the same time that I broke up with Sam. Did not think of Dan for all summer. I saw my friends, did a lot of sports, relaxed....

End of august, dont know why but I'm thinking about him again. Maybe the thought of going back to work. I was hoping to see him again but nothing was sure, unlike me, he's not under contract at the school. Turns out chance was on my side! Not only he did come back, but also signed for a few months contract! We had the chances to know eachother better and it was something I never felt before, it was like I knew him all my life. I asked him for a date during christmas holidays wich he said yes. It was in january that he admited to me that he his 4 months sobber from an alcool addiction.

I am now coming to terms, a month later, that it is not a good idea to continue dating this guy. I know for sure that he has to focus on himself and also, my first boyfriend had an addiction too and I don't want to go there. But it is so hard. It was to good to be true. I know I wasn't engaged to him but I really feel like grieving someone. I feel mad, not at him, it is my decision to let go really....I don't even know if it is a good idea to stay friends...
Thank you for reading me. It feels better To write all this to you.

OP posts:
PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 18/02/2023 22:33

I think you are doing the right thing - Dan needs to focus on getting himself sorted out without the pressure of a new relationship. Stay friends - who knows what the future may bring?

Mimi198 · 19/02/2023 01:39

Thank you for the reply ! For sure, my heart want to stay friend with him...But how?

OP posts:
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