NC.
I feel like I have made a mistake and now it's too late. I had my chance but I fucked up again.
I was with my ex for many years and we have a DC. The relationship wasn't perfect on both ends but he was very physically and emotionally abusive. This spanned throughout 10 years and after a physical incident, we stopped speaking for 3 years. We spoke again after his solicitor got in touch to arrange contact for the DC's. Everything was cordial and the kids were happy to hear from their dad again. We then got started talking and we agreed to try another go. He went to perpetrator classes, got counselling consistently for two years, he sounded and liked a change man age he was- but oh my word, I was wrong. Nothing physical happened again but I had to end up calling the police (it was a false alarm) but I thought it was enough and I decided to end it. This was 5 months ago.
DC's dad has been calling my phone to speak to DC's of up to 5 times a day. If I don't answer my phone (at work, shopping, or just tired). He would call my phone consistently- one call after another until I pick up. The other day I had 15 missed calls from him. When I am on the phone to an hour with a friend, he will call and ask me about who I've been talking to.
He doesn't want to accept the fact that we are over. He tells me that he does not want me to move on (or else he will walk away from the DC's or hurt me). I've tried to be civil with him and tell him that's in the best interests of the kids to not be together-that I don't want DC's live to be all about police or social services. But the ex replies but that's just a risk his willing to take.
When he is on the phone to the DC's he will be on the fir for an hour at a time (I guess to see what I'm doing).
The sad thing is that I've recently begun speaking to someone (nothing serious- just dating and see where it leads) but I called it off as I felt guilty to the ex. He keeps asking me if I'm cheating and I feel guilty that if I go in this date and something happens- I will be cheating on him. I've come to realise that I am better off being single just so not to anger the ex and to ensure dc's have a good relationship with their dad.