Dating is bloody hell on Earth

[JollieJullie]

Disclaimer: this will be a rant.

I have been dating on and off for years, as a somewhat ok looking 33 years old woman. Mostly using apps, but also meeting men in real life.

Men are, on average, just awful. The sexism, inappropriateness, pushiness, bad jokes, toxic masculinity. The expectation that as a woman I should fit in a certain box, act a certain way, have a certain personality. There is no space for me as a 3d human being with her ideas and preferences.

I find the modern world of dating dehumanizing. It makes seriously want to give up on love and just stop bothering with men altogether. I have a great life and enjoy being single, which obviously means that I am even less inclined to compromise for some mediocre dude. Thank God I am not bothered about children.

Anyone else feels this way?

JollieJullie
well firstly I can’t blame you for taking a pause

however id urge you to think about Men are, on average, just awful

im 49 and I’m raising two sons , and I’ve been online dating for past two years
it makes me sad to read that

ive found dating challenging yes , steep learning curve yes , and I’ve had a couple of heart breaks

men are mostly just flawed human beings like us , and maybe you need to pause and just relate to men platonically

or just do some stuff and not think about dating
maybe watch some blogs and see how men find dating

but I’m sorry you found it dehumanising , and I hope a pause and a reset will do good

Hi @JollieJullie - I’m sorry to hear that - I’m just hoping to start and I must admit I’m ready for a jungle but I’d hoped things wouldn’t be so terrible. Or some light at the end of the tunnel at least…

@Thisisworsethananticpated - really good idea about the blogs… any recommendations for us?! Or just a Google search?

I stopped dating aged 38/39 and decided to become a solo parent by choice (I appreciate it's not your interest) but when I did OLD for about 3 years prior to that decision I'd found it a really depressing, anxiety ridden and generally a very demoralising "pursuit", not helped by the added pressure of wanting s family. Although I did have a very brief relationship result from many fruitless dates, we're now very good friends, the process has left me completely disillusioned. The whole 'screening' of people in a very unnatural way, the admin behind it left me drained. I've recently dipped my toes back in and I was quickly reminded of it all so have decided to leave meeting someone to fate. No helpful advice Op @JollieJullie

YANBU. At all.

Honestly, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with men and how did they get so bad, and what makes it the worste is how proud they are to be the horrendous creatures that they are.

I’m most likely going to end up being single for the rest of my life and I’ve decided to build my dream life alone.
I’m not going to search for a man to build and share with me, they don’t even seem to want that, I’m going to do it on my own.

At least that way, they can’t ruin anything for me.
It’s all mine.

Whatnext2023

ibe been watching a lot of Matthew Hussey
he’s ostensibly for women
bit loads of men watch and comment

maybe start there ?

Thank you @Thisisworsethananticpated !

1000000% YES!!!!

I feel exactly the same.