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Relationships

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Original poster

He ignored me for gaming

29 replies

Shampooand · 17/02/2023 13:06

At 4pm yesterday my boyfriend said he wanted to phone me that night. We agreed to chat at 9pm. After 9pm he messaged to say sorry for the delay make it 9.30pm. Got to 9.30pm he said sorry for the delay again. He finally called at 9.40pm. He said sorry for the delay he had been gaming online with some friends. I cut the call off straight away. I was so angry he thought gaming was more important to ignore me.

We ended up sorting things after some stern words. He said he went to get pet food after the gaming even though he had all day as he was off work.

Why did he think it was acceptable to keep postponing the phone call that he wanted, to play computer games instead? He explained after he said at 9.15pm he thought he hopes the game will end soon so we can chat. He could have left the game at any time but he said he couldn't.

I don't mind him having friends but he was the one who wanted to phone then kept postponing which is disrepsecting my time. He is in his 40s.

On Sunday he wanted to game with them for over an hour but he realised I did not want to sit watching him so did not particiate. We don't get much time together so why he can't plan his time separately I don't know.

OP posts:

SherlockStones · 18/02/2023 18:59

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 18/02/2023 17:57

Middle aged men putting gaming before all else is the biggest turnoff I can think of. Tell him to get a fucking life.

He has got a life hence why he's gaming which is a hobby

OldFan · 18/02/2023 21:23

You should have been busy at 9.40 and text back sorry can't speak now

I agree, I think that would have been the best thing to do as he won't learn as I ended up speaking to him in the end.

I wouldn't even say sorry, just say you can't speak now as you're doing X.

Give him 15 mins to turn up on the phone at the time he's agreed to call. Then go about whatever other activities you might want to get upto.

It'dve been different if it'd been earlier, but 9.40 is quite late for a lot of people to start a call, as they might start getting ready for bed fairly soon if they have stuff to do the next day etc.

He sounds pretty lame though and you sound like you want someone more respectful, attentive, and what most people would consider more mature than him.

thecatsarecrazy · 18/02/2023 21:40

I understand your frustration, I think grown men playing video games is pretty sad, I was seeing a guy who's 32 and he now does tiktok lives playing fortnight. It gave me the ick.

EnterFunnyNameHere · 19/02/2023 07:27

Pinkbonbon · 18/02/2023 18:54

He has a life, it involves gaming. If you don't like it, don't date men who game. But their hobby choices are no less valid than yours just because you don't play them.

Show quote history

Thanks @Pinkbonbon - can you say it louder for people at the back?

This trope that adults who game are somehow "sad" is pathetic. Lots of games these days are really immersive social experiences, much less "sad" than gin o'clock chain watching soaps/love island/MAFS or whatever.

Different people like different things - shocker.

OP on your specific issue, sounds like better communication is needed, on his part around what he's actually doing / when he'll actually be free, and maybe a bit yours too, from the perspective of "if you're not free that's fine, I'll pop to the gym and catch you later" or whatever.

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