NC brother

[weebarra]

This is outing but my close friends and family are aware of the situation, so just looking for thoughts.
My younger DBro went no contact with our family in October. He and my DF had always had a very fractious relationship. From DF's pof, DBro is a lying sociopath, from DBro, DF is a narcissist who uses money as a weapon.

My DM is probably an enabler to both, but is a genuinely good and kind person.
DSis made the choice to end her life 3 years ago. She had BPD, depression and fibromyalgia. Her death broke us all and we miss her so much.

I'm the oldest and the only one with DCs. I've always been the golden child.

DBro started by telling DM that he never wanted to see DF again. She acknowledged his wishes but maintained contact with him.
Then he told her not to contact him again, via email.
I texted regularly, just updating him on my DCs, they have some health probs and it's also an exam year for one. Never had a reply.
I texted to send some pics of the DC doing an activity that DBro enjoys. Realised I was blocked.

I'd already bought Xmas presents so sent them. I've not attempted contact of any kind since then.
Neither has he - including missing DS1's 15th birthday.

Now - my parents are getting old and not in great health. A friend suggested that I send DBro an email asking if he wants to be informed if they become ill/die.
I don't know what to do. I'm an executor of their wills. When the worst does happen, wrestling with whether to contact him is not something I want to be thinking about, but he has the right to know.

Apologies for the length of this!

Having had to deal with my lying manipulative and frankly really really was a sociopath (CMHT and police ALL involved)of a brother - I would be be grateful for the no contact.

As for being the executor of their wills I can only recommend appointing a legal Rottweiler aka legal 500 solicitor with solid experience in handling estates and difficult, difficult family situations. That then created a robust boundary from my brothers insane and none stop grandiose claims and attempts to screw me over for every little thing and claim the entire estate. make it very clear any legal costs said sibling wants to run up contesting said estate et al is their and their own cost and not coming out of the estates legal fees. When it was enforced by the court of probate as a competent legal will as the sod challenged on the grounds dad had dementia and mum was incapable when both had full capacity just old so the previous older will where he had power of attorney stood, he then went and promised to various people I had agreed to give them money and settle all HIS debts. Those debts ran into the £100ks….including some seriously nasty criminal debts. Horrendous situation made even worse by his amoral abusive demands that ratcheted up for what he wanted me to do for him NOW. The more I have found out about how abusive he was to our lovely parents in their final years the happier I feel he is now dead. Sounds awful but I am so grateful to not have to deal with the trouble he constantly kept sending to my door.

If you have a healthy relationship with your parents it might be worth exploring legal power of attorney for both money and health for your parents ASAP. On hearing my mum was on EoL care my brother took her bank cards without permission from the hospice she was in and then attempted to blag he had power of attorney on her bank accounts to have money transferred to him for safe keeping…..and was furious to discover I had already acted on her behalf to protect her assets from him doing so. The screaming threats I then had is not a situation I would wish anyone to have to face.

Thank you! I am already POA - but will check this is up to date. Dad had an accident a few years back when they were overseas and DH and I had to have authority to speak to insurance companies and airlines, so I think they did that then!