Are we both at fault?

[uptomuch]

Posting this because I think I might be as much to blame as dh.

Argument in the car this morning after we had dropped dd off at school. Topic is irrelevant and was completely stupid. I pushed the subject (and pushed and pushed), he tried to ignore me and turned the radio up which was a red rag to a bull. I got angry and raised my voice, told him he was being entitled. He shouted back, no idea what he said, and I told him to let me get out of the car and pulled the steering wheel slightly to the left. Which was obviously stupid and potentially dangerous.
Dh responded by saying that if I did that again he'd punch me in the face.

I got out of the car and walked away. Had a tooth extracted today and he checked in to make sure I was ok. Other than that we haven't communicated. He'll be home in a minute and I don't know if I am right to be pissed off still or if I am just as much to blame.

(No history of any violence on either side previously)

I'm not a violent person, and in fact rarely raise my voice but if someone was berating and yelling at me while I was driving and then pulled the steering wheel, I would probably have reacted the way your partner did. I would certainly tell you you'd get a punch if you did something so spectacularly dangerous again. I certainly wouldn't give two fucks about your dental appointment (in fact I'd be so mad I'd hope it did hurt) because I'd be too busy packing my stuff.

Every single person has the right to not continue a conversation or walk away from an argument- even if they can't physically leave. If this argument was in the house he could have walked away from you, but not in a car.

You were 100% out of order. You had him as a trapped audience for your abuse and you could have killed someone because of your inability to control yourself. Over something you admit was stupid.

And you still have the fucking audacity to think you are justified in being pissed off with him. Catch yourself on.

I'd have threatened to hit you as well op.

What on earth were you thinking pulling the steering wheel while he was driving?

Maybe but I think I would say the strongest thing I could think of to shock them into stopping and not killing us both and potentially others in that situation.

But, as you say, no one knows how they'll react until they find themselves in that situation.

I think most people's reaction would he to ensure it didn't happen again.

Which I think he probably did!

Yeah you're right. I'm more sensitive to this kind of thing due to past abuse but in this extreme situation I can see how his reaction could be a complete one off. Either way, both clearly at fault here.

100% your fault.

Why were you so determined to try and cause an argument over something stupid and irrelevant? That sounds like the kind of behaviour that needs therapy.

You both need to grow the fuck up. Your poor daughter.