Hi I’m really struggling with my mind. Me and my fiancé have been together 5 years, before this we were together just a year, then we broke up and were apart for 2.
During those 2 years we still saw each other occasionally and slept together, we never really got over each other. I of course dated a few people and slept with a few, he did the same.
Unfortunately I know 2 of the women he slept with, 1 we still see every so often at events/gatherings as she’s best friends with his best friends wife.
Despite it being over 5 years ago, and us now being engaged and parents to a beautiful toddler with another on the way, every so often I torture myself with images in my head of him having sex with these women, in great detail! I ask myself, did he enjoy the sex more with them? Did he find them more attractive? Is he only not with them because they ended it? It makes me feel sick and I end up just upsetting myself, a really pointless exercise!
As you can probably tell I am very insecure and overthink everything. I try to tell myself he chose me, he wouldn’t have asked me to marry him or have children with me if he didn’t want me. But every now and then when I see one of these women’s names pop up, I start imagining them together again.
What is wrong with me and how can I stop this nonsense?! It’s not like I was a saint during the 2 years apart, so not sure why I can’t just put it behind me and stop being so ridiculous. I of course don’t mention any of this to him as it wouldn’t be fair as he hasn’t done anything wrong.
Any advice would be so appreciated!!!!!!