Dumped, struggling with anxiety

[Sackofshit]

He broke up with me via text yesterday after 4.5 years. The reason was that I went out for drinks and didn't tell him straightaway because he said he wouldn't see me if I did. Not a bad relationship, lots of love but often felt I was walking on eggshells. Not ready to talk to anyone irl yet. I just feel crushed with anxiety because of it all.

I went through the exact same thing, awful relationship with a verbally & emotionally abusive man, held at arms length, never knew what was going on, I just had to go along with what he wanted then everything would be ok. Each time I tried to end it I got this god awful anxiety which pushed me to talk to him, to apologise, to get back with him to make it stop. It doesn't feel like a normal breakup because it isn't. Mine eventually dumped me & I said to myself I am not chasing him, it takes 28 days to break a habit & I just have to get through this. It has been hard but totally worth it. When the fog lifted I knew he had been cheating on me which was why I was so confused & feeling so awful. No one can tell you what to do, but I know what it's like. But when you're dumped what choice do you have? I had enough self respect to not chase him & let him go & will not take back or talk to do a man who has cheated on me. End of. I can recommend the book out of the fog