Is this what love bombing is?

[user100009]

I have recently started online dating after being single for quite a while. I'm quickly learning about the horrors of online dating, but thought I'd found a decent guy to talk to. We spoke briefly around 4 years ago, so it was nice to have a bit of familiarity despite things not going anywhere between us all those years ago. Well, that's how I felt until he started saying some things that have really made me feel uneasy. I'm going to make a list of things he's said to me that I feel are really weird.

1. On day 1 of speaking said, "you have no idea what you mean to me"
2. Told me that he's not going to be able to keep his hands off me "for life" (it's the "for life" bit that made me feel really weird)
3. Said he's had multiple dreams about me and has "seen it all" - this was him hinting that he has seen me naked in his dreams 🤮
4. Wanted to know what my address was yesterday so he could drop round a Valentine's Day card.
5. When I made up some excuse as to why he couldn't come over, he sent me a picture of a bouquet of roses that he had apparently bought me and said "they'll be dead by the time I see you" then later said "I'll still give them to you, even if they're dead"
6. Later text me to say he had also bought me a box of chocolates, but was now eating them himself. I'm not sure if this was an attempt to make me feel bad.
7. Said that if I don't have any childcare for my young daughter, I can bring her along to our first date!

We have been talking for 5 days.

I blocked him this afternoon. I'm not being dramatic am I? Is this some kind of love bombing?

That love atomic bombing! As others have said be careful what you post online because he sounds like he might turn up somewhere when he realises he’s been blocked.

You did good !!! To block

Weirdo

Yes its love bombing but from a man who is plain old bonkers with zero understanding of normal boundaries, rather than a manipulator trying to rush your feelings into progressing. Very odd.

Ew what apsycho

Sounds both thick as fuck and a bullshitter.

Weird behaviour, most love bombers are a bit more sophisticated and subtle about it. This man was very obvious. Well done for blocking him.

I had a love bomber recently, reckoned he loved me after 2 weeks of messaging. I just stopped replying to him and he left me alone so I think he was more calculated than unhinged. He knew what he was doing - or trying to do!

I think some men do it to try and get sex quicker, but some just enjoy feeling like they’ve made a woman fall in love with them and they also get a sick sense of satisfaction when they dump her shortly after they’ve reeled her in. A bit of a control thing I suspect.

Yep!

As PP have said, that’s way beyond lovebombing and utterly terrifying. Quite possibly a paedophile given the mention of your daughter or at least thick as pig shit - like any parent would let a stranger look after their young child. I know you have cut it off but it might be worth examining why you even questioned your instincts over this.

If he says things to you, that you wouldn't say to him, it's not appropriate.

Run to the hills and then keep running.

Yep, he sounds unhinged. Well done to you for recognising the crazy for what it is.

God, men can be terrifying can't they? This is not normal and not ok. Agree with the poster above who said they're not sure what's scarier, if he feels this way or thinks this is what women want to hear. Hopefully he'll be out of your life forever now, not just four years!!

Fuck me, more red flags than a communist scout camp. You were absolutely right to block.

No way would I give my address and especially if I had kids he sounds creepy sorry

Run. He definitely shouldn't be asking to meet your child.

He sounds like the character from You!

JFC, this guy sounds unhinged. I'd actually be reviewing all my social media, etc. to make sure he couldn't track me down. Please, please don't say you gave him your address?!!
Also worth going over the conversations you've had with him - what personal info does he know.
Serious stalker vibes.

I would send a message saying you're not interested then block

I watch a lot of those true crime shows and he was really giving me creepy, stalker vibes

I'm worried that you needed to have watched true crime shows to realise this behaviour was beyond weird! Take care - there are a lot of nutters out there!

I didn't say that I needed to watch these shows to know his behaviour was weird, I was just trying to say he reminded me of some of the guys I've seen on there.

RUN

How did he even get past day 1?

He is clearly a tool who's been very clumsy and stupid. Beware of men who are much more sophisticated and subtle in their love-bombing.

All that in 5 days?? I was exhausted just reading it.
No, walk away now you’ve blocked him. He’s way over the top.

There’s a podcast on BBC Sounds atm called Love Bombing. True story.

Errrm this is why he’s been single for five years OP. It is indeed a very ineffective attempt at love bombing.