Time to give up?

[RachD90]

Been going through a rough patch with DP after getting a puppy together. Feel like I do pretty much everything around the house and for the puppy. He still constantly makes digs about me not doing my share which is just making me feel so resentful and fed up. Recently we had a huge argument while I was sick with Covid as I finally had enough of running around doing everything and snapped. He told me to pack up my things and leave (OUR house btw!), and then punched several holes in the wall when I started packing my things. I actually left for the afternoon and went to a friends house, but I was worried about the puppy not being looked after so went back. I feel so confused as to how we have got here and feel a bit stuck with a mortgage and I'm not sure either of us could keep the puppy ourselves. I love him but I just feel totally checked out of the relationship after he did this and mentally just feel so stressed out. I'm not sure there's any way through this? 🙁

He punched holes In the wall and you went back ?
You should report it to the police, then take you and the puppy somewhere safe

Nope, no way back from wall punching.

No way back, clearly.
Punching the wall is one step away from punching you or the puppy.

Leave.
Put the house up for sale.
Rehome the puppy if need be.

Do NOT stay or try to work this out.
Don't listen to his (almost inevitable) pleading that he'll change.
He won't.

You have got to leave.

Recently we had a huge argument while I was sick with Covid as I finally had enough of running around doing everything and snapped.

Hole punching aside, why were you doing stuff while sick with covid?? He should have sent you to bed and looked after you!

You say you’ve checked out, and I imagine he has too because he told you to get out… he didn’t ask you back you came back. So there’s no reason to think he feels any differently to you really. Time to call it a day before you get anything bigger than a puppy to look after.

So he's a sociopath? That's the only sort who punch holes in walls in arguments pp. It's deliberately to scare and intimidate you. It's saying 'this is my strength, see what I do to this wall, imagine what I could do to you'.

Give up? Nah, fucking run for your life more like.

Of course leave, and please don't leave the puppy with him. Take it with you or rehome it, but don't leave it with someone with a violent temper, and definitely don't stay in a relationship with someone with a violent temper.

Please take his behavior as a warning of what´s to come. This is him warning you, its the wall this time, but should you cross him again it will be you.
I know this from experience.
If he says he is sorry and that it was due to stress, work, or whatever he may use, and that it will never happen again, and you go back due to practicalities, the dog and or house, then you are walking into future abuse from him towards you, or even the dog. This behavior will only escalate, it may not happen this week, month or year, but it will be coercive control so you will be living a life in constant wait if you dare put a foot wrong.

He punched several holes in the wall...RUN with the puppy.

Who knows when he will punch you or the puppy next.

Sounds like it was a mistake getting a puppy. They are hard work. I think regardless of whether you rehome the puppy or not (personally I think that would be a good idea) the fact he’s punching holes in the wall is very concerning.