Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My birthday

8 replies

Unicornsparkle1000 · 14/02/2023 18:16

Days before my birthday my husband hurt his knee and wasn't able to walk without crutches, I cancelled the plans we had, and told him we could do it another day. On my actual birthday I woke up, got the kids ready for school did all the normal stuff you do and not one of them acknowledged it was my birthday. I felt really hurt by this.my do spoke to me telling me he was sorry that he ruined my birthday but not once did I get a happy birthday. He also said I told him my birthday was cancelled , I never said that. It was really horrible as they are the people I do everything for and for one day they couldn't even say happy birthday. I've told my dh I no
Longer am going to celebrate my birthday, I am not acting like a child but my childhood was very abusive and the way I deal with things as an adult is if something really hurts me I will
Just not doit again. I no it isn't the right way to deal with things but I suffer with complex ptsd caused by childhood trauma and it's the only
Way I no how. How would you deal with the situation?

OP posts:
KnickerlessParsons · 14/02/2023 18:35

How old are your DC?
Would it have been beyond you to
make a special breakfast "for mummy's birthday"? Or to
Make a cake for when they got home from school?

Unicornsparkle1000 · 14/02/2023 19:18

They are older, they would have been able to do something

OP posts:
GoodChat · 14/02/2023 19:22

Why didn't your husband still organise your present and card and get the kids to do whatever they'd normally do?

Has he apologised for actually ruining your birthday with his thoughtlessness?

80s · 14/02/2023 20:00

He also said I told him my birthday was cancelled , I never said that
What do you think really happened? He forgot your birthday and tried to gaslight you by pretending that he thought "I'm cancelling our plans" meant "I'm cancelling my entire birthday"?

How old are the kids? Did you say "Have you forgotten my birthday?" or did you say nothing and test how long it would be before they remembered?

piedbeauty · 14/02/2023 20:01

What did you say to the kids?!

Unicornsparkle1000 · 14/02/2023 22:41

Thanks for the replies I told the kids it was my birthday and how would they feel if I had not said happy birthday to them. My dh apologised for hurting his knee and not being able to do anything not the fact that he just ignored that it was my birthday

OP posts:
NoDairyNoProblem · 14/02/2023 23:13

Happy birthday!

I’m really sorry your DH is being a twit. With the wonders of hime delivery he could have had cake, take away for dinner, cards and flowers all organised from his sick bed!

GoodChat · 15/02/2023 05:11

I wouldn't stop celebrating your birthday - I'd just do your own thing and stop incorporating others into your plans.

Next year, book yourself a couple of nights away for yourself and let everyone fend for themselves.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page