Myself & my husband have been together 13 years & have 3 children together. We have never split up but the first few years were difficult for us. We got pregnant with our eldest dc after only a few months of dating & it wasn’t easy. A few years went by and things kept on getting better and better. We were really happy bought our first house, promotions new jobs. Everything was great & we had two more dc which completed our family .
Then a couple of years ago during covid DH decided to leave his job and open his own business with his friend who was also married. We all discussed it together plans names concepts etc and we opened it. When it was opened it was just my dh and one employee on a day to say basis with his friend (his business partner) a little behind the scenes as he was the money man & my dh was the brains behind it. I was at university at the time & I asked if I could get involved but he said no. I understood that it was a new business & he said he couldn’t afford to pay me. Although I didn’t want paying & never expected money, I understood. It did upset me however.
He has never been a particularly loving person but he had no sex drove for around 12 months during this time which didn’t help & was extremely cold & stressed at home. He worked 24/7 & struggled with a work life balance.
The business then grew rapidly & he began to get a lot more employees. His business partners wife joined & became a director along with dh & business partner. Again - something I was not included in & I honestly thought it was going to be the 4 of us. He told me the business was in his and his business partners name only & I felt a little left out. We had discussed it all together & I supported him whilst he made the career change & felt he didn’t appreciate the things I had sacrificed throughout bringing our children up so he could progress. I told him I was upset & we agreed I would start working there & I still do work there however it is still 3 years later very much his business & if I say anything he ignores me. Other directors work less days & are paid more. For example - I work 4 days and get paid for 4. Another director works 4 and is paid for 5. Sometimes I feel I am at the bottom of the pile & it doesn’t matter how supportive I am.
I don’t want to come across as a bitter wife as I’m not in so proud of him but I feel it’s taken so much out of our relationship & I feel
my feelings have changed. It seems as though we are second best, he has zero work life balance 3 years on & I wonder if it will get better. Our children are all at school now so home life is easier than it once was. He sees it as he’s working hard for our family how can I complain?! But my argument is you’re so focused on work you can’t see what’s going on around you - almost like he has the blinkers on. Our children are going once & the years are flying by. We have spoken about this numerous times but nothing changes. He promises they will but they honestly don’t. I do care about him but I really don’t want my life to continue like this.
does anybody have any advise ? Xox