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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I crazy?

4 replies

SoThisIsLife · 14/02/2023 13:10

Over the last year i have noticed that my partner of 6 years is very secretive with his phone. He’ll take it to every bathroom break, the kitchen, and even when sleeping he’ll have it in his pocket or in his hand under his pillow (I don’t know his password). This in itself feels like a red flag to me… am I wrong?

Now fast-forward to last night, he randomly falls asleep with his phone open and something tells me to peek. I find a deleted message from a girl, with her sending him a crying a emoji and him telling her that he had tried to call her back. The messages were dated back to a few weeks ago, during a time where he had left the house for some air after we had argued about something silly. The strange thing is that those 2 messages had been the only ones in the chat - therefore leading me to believe that he’s deleted more before I had been able to see the rest…

I’m aware that going on his phone was wrong but I just need to know if I’m overreacting about the situation? Am I overthink?

OP posts:
ourflagmeansdeath · 14/02/2023 16:07

You aren't overthinking AT ALL. I can't think of a genuine reason for this - especially as he's been deleting messages. You need to make sure you have evidence before confronting him about it. But that's incredibly suspicious.

Crazypaving22 · 14/02/2023 16:11

IME the red flags are waving here. Phone guarding is a cheat tactic as is message deletion like this.

I’m so sorry but I would be digging further.

sunshinenroses · 14/02/2023 16:19

No, it's quite obvious he's cheating. I'm sorry Op

Watchkeys · 14/02/2023 16:32

Stay away from anyone who makes you question your sanity. It doesn't matter who's right or wrong. Just recognise when you're uncomfortable, and avoid the situation again. It's your responsibility to yourself.

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