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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Will he ever hear me I wonder

7 replies

Relaxingtime · 14/02/2023 10:49

I confronted my partner as we agreed if he said or did something that I was not happy with.
He was laughing because I didn't know something and I said I think laughing is just plain rude & unnecessary.
He says I overthinked it, I'm too sensitive then as the conversation becomes heated with I am not trying to argue but offload how I heard it he told me I had wasted his evening.

What I struggle with is unless I keep quiet and when I am emotional I'm seen to be causing trouble because "we are good together when we get on."
I should know him by now, a year on, He means no harm or upset.
Yet all I feel is emotionally disconnected.
Sorry, I wasted his time, and when I bumped the phone off trying to make a coffee and rung back he answered What! What!.
I said excuse me?
He would rather deny comments which cause massive frustration leading to a shitty argument followed by how he wants what's best for me.
I was then told Valentine's Day is
American materialism, and he doesn't care for it, I said ok but I do."
He never remembers what i bring up then argues, denying until I hear ok maybe I said that.
I'm tired of this.

OP posts:
CalistoNoSolo · 14/02/2023 11:05

Well it's not going to get better so dump him and raise your standards. He sounds like a complete twat tbh.

LadyJ2023 · 14/02/2023 11:22

How can you genuinely be good together if you actually have to keep your mouth shut half the time to keep the peace ?? If me and hubby want to talk I will either say talk tonight babe and we know that's what we are gona do once babies are settled down. He never laught at me always respects what I say, occasionally we have different points of view and come to compromises etc. And the same for him sometimes he simply wants to offload his work week and I just listen. good communication makes for a lovely relationship and no fear of not being able to speak

Penguinsaregreat · 14/02/2023 11:33

He is a misogynistic oaf who wants you to stfu.
Dont waste your time on him. It’s obvious he doesn’t value you.

CrescentMoons · 14/02/2023 11:34

Dump him. Don’t respond and move on. Every day is Valentine’s Day with your own dog and it shits outside

ThisWormHasTurned · 14/02/2023 11:37

Yeah dump him! He’s setting you up to tread on egg shells. You’re happy together as long as you never challenge or criticise him, right? But in a healthy relationship you should be able to raise concerns and they should listen. He only listens to have ammunition to use against you.
Trust me, I was married to one for 13 years. It does not get better and you lose yourself trying to keep them happy (an impossible task). Now I’m free. I’m happy and contented. He’s moved on but he’s still miserable.

3487642l · 14/02/2023 11:51

You need to leave this man sooner rather than later if you want to keep your mental health intact! Run. Run for the hills.

XmasElf10 · 14/02/2023 13:28

Does he bring more joy than stress? Sounds like No!
Does he make you feel valued, cared for and loved? Sounds like No!
Does he contribute practically to your life in really thoughtful and helpful ways? I'm guessing No!

What is the point of him? How can you find someone who does bring you joy if you are stuck with him? It's not you, it's him. Time to move on!

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