Toxic parents

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

Having just read the awful thread about the mother who told her daughter to stick a knife through her neck and having been reminded of Pages story, I was wondering where I could fit in to get support. My parents, I think could be classed as toxic, but how does it work when your parents are still alive (though not together) but never brought you up? I was in care from 16 months approx but my BM came in and out of my life for years but I never lived with her. Years went by without any contact but recently she has been causing trouble via my in laws and it is very stressful and worrying.

NAB,

I have read a few of your threads, but have no advice to offer.

Have you tried asking thoose ladies on "but i took you to stateley homes" they may have some good advice for you.

Thank you, I will link to there.

Nab- have written a message for you on the other thread, Im sure the others will do too soon. So do keep checking.

Nab sorry to hear about this..I have a book "toxic inlaws" by susan forward which delves into issues such as what you are experiencing and inc parents....

I had difficulties with my inlaws and found it great help and also good when dealing with issues surrounding my own parents. Possibly things that don't come to light til you have kids of your own.

If you are interested I can send it...Just £3 to cover postage/paypal. x

My MIL doesn't do emotion in any shape or form. I spoke to her last week saying it is difficult when you have depression and she snapped that it is difficult for those around you as well. She had been woken at 4.30am by her SIL who had taken an overdose and she wasn't in the most sympathetic of moods. Her SIL is depressed too and MIL doesn't understand depression at all.

Will have a think about the book, thank you. Have so many books I want to read at the moment and no energy/time to do so!

sounds like I could do with this book too. MIL has spent years telling me I am too common/fat/tall/useless with little barbed comments and now says we are tired cos we were stupid not to put disabled dd into care.
My mother does the whiny guilt tripping 2 yo tantrum thing. 'I'm an old lady and no-one wants me and I might as well kill myself'
'worst mistake I ever made was having kids'
etc etc
And then having sulks that last months despite us bankrupting ourselves to get her a bloody bungalow. For some reason I can't get it into her head that being on benefits means having no money. Its like she thinks we have a secret stash somewhere and just enjoy being cold in the winter and going without car/holidays/nice things.
So > NAB. Want to be my family and I'll be yours?

Sure thing!

God, sorry to hear things are getting both og you down...Families eh..Remember: You choose your friends but don't choose your family .

Well the book is of no use to me now (Had mil/pil problems around 2 years ago now and "touch wood" things are on the right road. I found the book helped. . x
Nab you are welcome to it or needmorecoffee..even pass it one to each other.? x

much better to pick ones family and without the emtional buttons too.