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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I be worried about this friend?

3 replies

Hostofgoldendaffodils · 13/02/2023 21:20

My friend, who lives in another country (her native country), texted me to announce that she's pregnant. I was delighted but also quite surprised, because she and her boyfriend are devout Christians. We used to go to the same church (in her country) and generally in that circle it was basically assumed that you didn't have sex before marriage. This may sound extreme to some but in evangelical Christian circles it's very normal. But anyway, I'm aware that, with the best intentions in the world, these things do happen, so I didn't think too much of it.
As we texted, it also unfolded that she had quit her job. She's not on maternity leave but has just resigned outright. She and her boyfriend have also moved to a more remote village, outside the main city, which means she no longer goes to the church she used to attend in the main city.

I just felt a bit alarmed that she's now cut off from her support group in church, as well as her job, and is no longer living near her family.

Do you think my concerns are valid or does this all sound perfectly fine?

OP posts:
Angelofthenortheast · 13/02/2023 21:24

It sounds like she's panicked about people judging her and is planning on starting an entirely new life. And she's messaging you as someone who is physically distant but presumably understanding?

I don't think you need to be worried, but I would definitely keep messaging and checking in on her and asking how she's doing regularly

Hostofgoldendaffodils · 13/02/2023 21:33

Angelofthenortheast · 13/02/2023 21:24

It sounds like she's panicked about people judging her and is planning on starting an entirely new life. And she's messaging you as someone who is physically distant but presumably understanding?

I don't think you need to be worried, but I would definitely keep messaging and checking in on her and asking how she's doing regularly

I had not thought of it like that. Thank you, that's helpful.

OP posts:
MaverickGooseGoose · 13/02/2023 21:34

I would be concerned too, has she been forced to do this would be my first thought.

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