Feeling sad about my future

[Georgina8555]

I have become a single mother last year after a LTR ended due to a multitude of issues. I am speaking to the counsellor who is always saying that dating with a toddler will be very difficult and no gurantee I will find a decent relationship, thant most people my age are settled and dating world is grim. I am giving myself another year to sort my life out but at the same time I would naturally want to find love again at some point in the not so distant future. Can someone (who has been in a similar position) been able to form a happy and functional relationship with a small child and decent co-parent? Am I facing years in solitude? I would not want a FWBs. I am 38. Thank you in advance for any feedback!

Have you tried the Frolo app, it's a community for single parents and has a dating side too.

Why the rush? I’ve been single 6 years since my relationship ended, yes there is truth in that fact that you have a child dating will be more difficult, I haven’t been able to date as with mine full time so no days off

I really appreciate being single. I find myself singing along with that song 'I can buy myself flowers, write my own name in the sand' etc and thinking hell yeah, my own company rocks!!! I never have to compromise. Give it time OP.

I'm a solo mother by choice (with a donor conceived child), and have recently dipped my toes back in OLD. It's as grim as I remember it (and this wasn't even that long ago when I was childfree). Now the stakes are higher as my time, headspace and energy are limited but then I used to give too much of my free time to substandard men and dating, in general. I'm not sure what the answer is but for any decent relationship, I would have to say you keed proximity and time for closeness to be built, and availability to spend time together.

What sort of relationship would you like to have? Blending families one day? A single men with no children of his own (potentially to cohabit)? Marriage?

Of course you can meet somebody lovely. Lots of single parents - mums and dads - go on to have happy lasting relationships in their 30s; 40s, 50s…. I’m now 52 and a single parent, did a fair bit of dating post divorce at the age of 44 and have had two serious relationships since (one current). You’ve got a lot of life to live, and enjoy.

I’d also say your counsellor sounds very negative and prescriptive- how can she know who you’ll meet in the years ahead? Find someone else!!

I've been in a very similar position. Single by the time my son was one. Did a bit of online dating after about a year but didn't meet anyone I liked. Then when my son was three I met someone through work, he had a daughter the same age and it just worked. We're now married, my son is ten and I'm pregnant!

I was single over 10yrs until I met my boyfriend. Mainly through choice, but also as I had little free time to date. I was quite happy, then met someone (naturally not via OLD) and fell in love

Get a new counsellor.

This!