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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling like a broken cog

2 replies

thebluestlight · 13/02/2023 13:45

I broke my ankle, and it looks like I will be very restricted in movements for 6-8 weeks. Wearing a boot but it's still very painful so I can only get around in the house, very slowly, on crutches. I need to take painkillers and get tired easily. Break happened last week.

The issue: I feel like DP is treating me like a broken cog in a machine. I understand he is overwhelmed. FT work plus we have two under four who attend nursery full time. I understand that it is very exhausting and stressful and I've said how I appreciate he is taking on more than usual with DC, meals and cleaning.

The first day of my injury he took DC with him to DMil for six hours so he'd have help, leaving me home alone and struggling. If I ask him for something, which happens rarely (like today I asked for one coffee then later for some painkillers I could not reach) I get a lot of loud sighing. I feel inconvenient and annoying, and any comment about my rehab feels like the way you'd talk about your car getting a repair. I'm not sure if I'm being OTT and over sensitive because the pain is quite bad, or if my idea for how I'd like to be treated (eg being asked if I need anything a couple times a day, or just being offered a hot drink, simply offered a little sympathy) is just unrealistic.

OP posts:
ALS94 · 13/02/2023 14:01

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable but this sounds like a big change in routine for everyone, did you do majority childcare and housework before this?

You need to talk to DH and tell him how you feel and give him examples of him sighing etc and how that’s made you feel. But keep in mind the changes might not happen overnight

concernedalot · 13/02/2023 16:44

Maybe he'll start appreciating what you do now after he's finished sighing and acting like a spoilt child. He doesn't sound very supportive, i'd be annoyed too. Particularly taking your DC to the Mil. Seriously he can't cope looking after the children he was happy to make? A common theme...

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