Partner moving in, how to be fair with finances?

[yellowcourgette]

Hi everyone,

I own my house (with mortgage) and my partner rents for a low cost in a shared house. I usually have a lodger and am in the process of finding a replacement for my current lodger moving out. My partner has suggested moving in instead and I think this would be great - we are a great team and he is very helpful and it would be lovely to have the house to ourselves.

How do I navigate this financially? He has suggested splitting all house bills inc. mortgage down the middle (although we haven't talked about food etc). Him moving in would probably 'cost' us, as in I would get more money for a lodger and his 'rent' would be higher but not sure this is important.

I want to make sure that it's fair for both of us. I want to keep my house, but if he's essentially contributing to the mortgage, will we be in a mess if we split up after 5 years or whatever?

Any advice would be great.

I would split it all down the middle as he suggested; but any costs for house maintenance come from you. You could put an agreement in place like you do for a lodger if that makes you feel better and gives him some security in that if the row of you split he has a notice period to move out.
Realistically even if he lives in your house for ten years contributing towards your mortgage he still can’t claim anything.

It’d be good to have a longer term plan though about whether you’ll buy together etc and what his plan is for long term security; DH and I did this for 2 years living at his place before we married but we always knew that we’d buy together in the future

Thanks, I think this is what we were thinking. The long term goal would be to buy together but he needs time to save for that, and I quite like my little house!

I would go to a Solicitor and have them draw up a cohabitation agreement that that two of you both agree to and sign; that way if it all goes pear shaped you have this formal document to go by. Both your interests need to be looked after here.

The other person should not pay any of your mortgage; it is not theirs to pay.

Does one person here earn a lot more than the other; outgoings should be paid proportionately to income rather than a straight 50/50 split.

You're both taking a bit of a hit in the pocket, but both getting the lifestyle benefit of doing so by getting to live together instead of with strangers.

Sounds pretty reasonable to me. I would have a rough forward plan in place though - as in, if things work out, what next & when?

What do you charge your current lodger? Surely charge him the same as that?
Make sure it's in writing that he is just a lodger.

Don't let him pay half your mortgage.

He almost certainly wouldn't have a claim to half your house if you aren't married and separate but could be an expensive legal process to sort it all out.

I think it needs a lot more discussion.

You don't want a cocklodger situation where he creates a lot more work and drain to your finances.

I would try and work something out between you so you are both roughly in the same position financially as you were when you did not live together. If you both end up losing out or gaining a bit, make that even so you are both in the same position. In the end, if you want to be together, that will be the benefit. When DH first moved in to my house we worked out something that was fair, so we were both paying out each month approximately what we were paying when we lived separately. That was 6 years ago and we are now married and jointly own the house, but once we had made that decision we kept with it and our finances are still arranged in a similar way based on what we initially agreed.

We and my DP did this before we bought. I made him sign a tenancy agreement and he paid rent. He did use the spare room as an office so he was basically renting a room in the house. He paid me a set amount a month that then used for bills/maintenance etc. We did split food but this was separate.

Me*

Rather than splitting bills can he not pay the same as your lodger or is that much more than his current arrangements? If you both earn roughly the same I would split the difference between the old and new arrangements

Why does he need to move in?
With such an asset discrepancy it could cause tensions down the road, it would always be an unequal set up regardless of how you dress it up ie have him be your lodger replacement. It can change the dynamic of a relationship.

Do not allow him one foot in the door before he signs an agreement that states he has absolutely no claim on your home.

I wouldn't have him move in, personally. There's a very big disparity here between you owning your own house (albeit with a mortgage - but the fact that you have a mortgage would suggest a steady income and a responsible attitude to money) and your boyfriend renting a room in a shared house (which is something most people don't do once they stop being students). It suggests to me that you and he are not entirely compatible in your outlook on life. If you want to move in with him, I'd wait until he can be a joint adult with you and get a mortgage with you. He'd be better off staying put and saving up for a deposit meanwhile. And you would be better off taking in another lodger.

Second this. A cohabitation agreement will help show the intentions here. Paying half your mortgage is awkward ground, you don't want him having any claim on your property if that's not your current intention.

When my then boyfriend moved in we agreed a cohabitation agreement on my property, then later on we bought a bigger place together and got married.

I would just come to some sort rent/bills agreement that doesn't include him technically paying half the mortgage. Regardless of his lack of legal rights I think it shifts things in his favour - it's your house, what you do in the future who knows, but for now I'd keep it to a rental agreement with no reference to contributing to the mortgage.

I probably wouldn’t do it at all. It seems to be coming about because of convenience rather than because you both want to move the relationship forward. I would hold off until you have talked about your future plans, marriage etc.

I’d rather stay in my rented house than move in to a home that belonged to my partner but not me. How is that equal? It doesn’t sound like you’re ready to live together yet, it sounds like you’d prefer to get another lodger.

I would split all household bills (incl general maintenance) and split mortgage interest but not capital repayment.

Protect yourself, OP, please! And don't let him pay for repairs to your house or improvements because otherwise he can make a claim to it if you then break up. You need to get legal advice, by yourself!