Does anyone else get fear and anxiety?

[SweetDehlia]

In a happy relationship for 7 years. We are a great team IMO , have mutual respect, laugh everyday, lovely lifestyle .....

But I feel regular fear and anxiety of a relationship breakdown. That he may wake up one day and decide to leave. It's silly and I know I am being unreasonable. But I can't help it.

I am kept up at night sometimes with the worry.

I think in the looks department he is out of my league and could be with someone a lot better looking. I like to think I make up for it in personality and acts of service around the house and doing small nice gestures often which makes me a good partner.

Does anyone else feel this way or am I crazy? How do I get over feeling this way so I can enjoy the life I have . It's getting me down.

People don't leave happy relatiuonships - so if you know that he's happy (as it sounds from your post) then you can relax. Most people worry when a partner becomes irritable / distant, so it's your anxiety issue. I don't think you can change that without counselling / therapy, which will also advise yo uhow to rais your self-esteem - and know that he's lucky to have you.
And no, looks are really not the main thing in an LTR, if he was obsessed with looks, he would have one for someone 'in his league', so you know he;s not shallow.

*he would have gone

Thankyou
he does reassure me if I'm being silly
I do think therapy for myself is perhaps the way forward and hopefully build my confidence

general day to day I'm fine but the anxiety hits like a wave and it's all I can think about

Definitely no distance . We went through a stage about two years ago and was abit flat in the bedroom but we talked it through and now that's better than ever.

All the time. My husband looks like Alexander Skarsgård in the Norseman and sometimes I look up at him and think "why on earth are you married to me, a potato, when you could be with some 6'2" blonde bombshell with legs up to her chin?"

I know I'm being silly, I know our marriage is good and he's happy, I know it'd upset him that I feel this way. I keep it between me and my therapist, we're working on my abysmal self esteem at the moment. I'd definitely recommend it (therapy that is) if you have the time and resources, it's early days for me but I'm finding it very helpful.

That's how I feel - I think god you could be with a supermodel!!!

I can get ten free sessions where I live for therapy/counselling so think it would be worth a go. I have toyed with the idea for a while but I'm abit worried where I start when I speak to them. I suppose they will lead the way haha ...

Try therapy. The therapist can lead you along to deal and uncover what and why your self-esteem is where it is.
I imagine looks fade and a genuine connection, love, care, are of more value than looks.
I would book an appointment and work on your self-esteem, which can only help you?.

Hi @SweetDehlia i did feel like that too, you're not crazy x
Try and replace those thoughts with positive affirmations. Your other half is probably thinking the same thing, that you're amazing and he might lose you! x

I think I struggle more as people constantly tell me how lucky I am. Friends, family.

I've even been shut down when supporting friends with their relationship issues theyv shared with me, when I have tried to offer advice, comments are made I wouldn't understand due to my 'perfect partner'

no one tells him he's lucky at all. Silly I know but I get it often.

I think I struggle more as people constantly tell me how lucky I am. Friends, family.

I’d tell them to fuck off if they’re insinuating he isn’t equally as lucky to be with you. Know your worth. If you need therapy to get there then do it. Feeling like you’re in some way lesser than your partner can ruin an otherwise good relationship and it also makes you vulnerable to abuse. You need to shut down anyone who implies you’re ‘lucky’ with ‘well, he’s luck to have me too so I guess we’re well suited’.

@SweetDehlia he is lucky to have you ❤
I know it's hard but please try and ignore your friends and family comments x

Needy and anxious people are boring and hard work so you do have to get a grip on this as it will damage your relationship over time. Work on your own self esteem and stop thinking your husband is better than you. He isn't.