Married with teens how do you transition/evolve?

[Meltinthemiddle]

I'm struggling with this stage of my life and in our relationship. I feel we should be getting things back on track, more time for us, more spontaneous and weekends away or nights out. But we don't we mainly go out separately or watch TV, or are on our phones. I get we can't afford to go out every weekend and sometimes we are too tired. But I look at me friends who are dating who go on nights out, romantic weekends away etc. It feel like that stops when you are married or have young kids.

Can you afford to get some weekends away booked?

I feel the same although I have one tween and one 7 year old. Both kids also have extra needs - which means leaving them with friends is impossible. Getting a sitter is £70 for a night. We do a fair amount of family stuff but v little couples’ stuff.

I can totally see how so many marriages break down - kids put so much strain on a relationship. And an even bigger strain when they are ND

How old are the kids would you leave them home alone for a couple of hours. We have been out for a couple of early meals, home by 9pm; we sometimes book the same day off work and go out for lunch. We try and go away once a year for a couple of nights (my parents will have the DC).

18 and 15 so no excuses really for us not to do stuff apart from money. But I feel like I'm the constant driving force. I think what I'm trying to say it's become predictable, there isn't any romance or spontaniety. It's like marriage=boring. I actually envy my friend who are dating and new relationships.

We have a Friday early evening date every week.
We go to the pub on a Friday for a few drinks (we take the dogs!) but then we pick up a take away on the way home.
It’s just nice to chat to each other and to people in the pub - we live in a village and loads of people know us or the dogs.
We do go away a few times a year by ourselves and we enjoy each others company.
I do also go away with our kids together and separately a few times a year so I feel pretty connected to the whole family.

We do something every month or two usually a show/concert (we tend to gift them for Xmas or birthdays) or few in pub on quiz night. Every Saturday (if not out) we do a film or play cards or listen to music. I like to do an activity rather than sit and talk as we spend a lot of time together and only have so many things to talk about.