Am I falling in love ? Or just desperate for relationship ?

[Janese2]

I have been single for few years now. I’ve dated a lot and met a guy online that became my friend (about two years ago). I am going to sound absolutely terrible, but this guy has an awesome personality and is beyond amazing human being and we clicked as friends, but physically I was almost repulsed by him. We kept seeing each other as we were both going through stuff and one drunk night slept together. We kept seeing each other for sex about once/twice a month(for about 7/8 months). Since Christmas we were both super busy and we saw each other after 6/7 weeks last weekend. I can’t stop thinking about him and keep checking if he messaged/day dreaming about him…

Now I don’t wanna hurt him and I don’t know how to and if we should continue… is it possible I’m suddenly attracted to him? Or am I just lonely so I’m becoming attached to the only guy that’s around?! I didn’t confess to him how I feel until I know for sure - he might not even like me?! We never talked about relationship or dating each other… anyone ever experienced anything like that?! I also want him to be with someone who just fancy him 100000%% because he deserves nothing but that and I feel terribly shallow …

You haven’t said a nice word about him so it sounds like a bit of panic & considering settling. You both deserve better IMO.

Feelings can grow, especially when sex takes place. Do you feel more physically attracted to him now?

I kept my dp as a friend for a while as I didn't find him attractive. Then we decided on a fwb thing and to cut a long story short we fell in love. It happens.

Don’t do it. I never wanted to go out with the father of my DC, we were good friends but I wasn’t attracted to him at first. The relationship ended eventually, not due to this but he always said he was insecure how I felt about him, which he was right to pick up on. I’d never get into a relationship with someone I didn’t fancy 100%, which is why I was single for 10yrs after we split and only recently met someone else

OP, of you were sexually attached to him, you'd know it.

What you are feeling is a mixture of relationship anticipation and developing feelings. When people have sex, especially when women do, they risk developing feelings because bonding is what oxytocin does. It's one thing to feel 'meh' about your partner's physical apparance, but to feel initially repulsed is building something on very shaky foundations that might fail as soon as the relationship is tested.

Thank you everyone for replies. He is coming next Saturday and I think I’ll avoid sex and probably end it. I mean I’m not sure at this point if I fancy him or not, but as some of you said - the foundation is not there so when things would get tough that initial feeling of absolutely zero attraction would probably make me break up with him. I had relationship like that in past when I fell for person I didn’t fancy …once argument started the initial repulsive feeling took over while in relationship where there were butterflies and attraction - it would be what made the difference and I had motivation to fight for that relationship… I think we both deserve someone we do fancy from day one ..