Ive had to name change for this as I don’t want to out myself. I’ve been friends with her for 35 years, since school, and are like sisters. She’s been married 14 years now, her dh is well liked by all of us, comes across as a nice man, he manages large teams of people in his work, and they all love him. He earns a very high salary too. No dc. She gave up a professional job and has always been lazy, hates hard work. At uni she was always applying for mitigation because she chose not to work, and would blame it on mental health which she didn’t have. Over the last 5 years she started to complain about him a lot, first it was his eating behaviour, like she wouldn’t want him eating crisp because he was gaining weight. Then it was he drinks too much, she told him he has to stop but would drink herself. She seemed to control him more and more. He at some point stood up to her and said she can’t choose for him. At this point she started telling me he is EA and FA. We’ve had the same conversations for 4 years now, she calls him a narcissist, has taken him to therapy, gone herself the lot. She has a penchant for expensive things and buys so much stuff, he has asked her to be careful with the money after she bought 3 items of jewellery costing 10k each and without discussing it. She saw this as FA. Eventually she left him whilst in Ibiza on a girls trip, simply refusing to return home and took up a lease, paid for by him. After 6 months he filed for divorce, she was horrified and clearly didn’t want it. As divorce proceedings continued she realised that she’s not going to be able to continue being lazy and will have to work ons day. She also felt extremely jealous that he started dating someone else. So she decided to go back to him and shockingly he took her back. She has said to me she can’t cope with life alone and needs him to help her with day to day things and she needs access to the money. I reminded her of all the abuse she’s told me about. To which she said it’s worth paying the price. They have been in divorce proceedings three times, initiated by him after she’s left, but then comes back. Now I’m left thinking whether she is telling the truth about him being so bad. Whether she’s the abusive one. I’m her last friend, they have all walked away over the years fed up of her behaviour. I have 4 dc I work full time and have sacrificed so much time, our spare room, and more for her. She’s impatient with my dc at times, she frequently cancels plans because she ‘can’t be bothered today’ in fact I’ve now noticed she only contacts me to talk about how toxic her dh is. When things settle I hear less and if I contact her she’s very short, or never replies. I’m upset about all of this, I have maintained the friendship because of how long-standing it is, maybe I should’ve walked away many years ago. I feel sorry for her as she doesn’t have many other friends. But I have nothing much left to give this. And I am completely baffled about what is really going on here, I’m also disappointed that she appears to be manipulating him. Any thoughts appreciated thank you.