OK, new here, first post, I'm 35, kids 6 and 9, and looking for some guidance please. Been with my husband for 19 years and married 4 years. Been a very rocky relationship, just to cut a long story short spent many years pre and post kids where he would vanish from Friday through to Sunday and be on a drinking binge, no word from him, let down constantly, there was anger rages from the cocaine and resulted in physical violence a few occasion (nothing major just twisting my wrist, or standing on my ankle and throwing keys at my head) but nothing really big and was when he drunk or on drugs, later on the drink was knocked on the head for few months at a time then back to it again and then replaced with gambling of which racked up 80k of debt over the series of a few years, remortgaged house to pay some and few years later did it again to us and was thousands of pounds in debt with one gambling bet at 6k for a football match! Took out loan for this he did, came clean few weeks before wedding, went through with wedding and sold house shortly after, paid off 40k of debt and tried to start over but what I felt for him had gone, took me 11+ years of constant ups and downs but that feeling of being in love faded. It's been 3 years that my feelings have changed and he knows that I don't love him anymore, yet the past 9 months has changed and I kick myself that he didn't do this all those years ago when I kept pleading him to. He's found an apartment to go rent but doesn't want us to split because he still loves me and obviously because we have two young children. But the thought of living by myself with our 2 kids brings me joy, albeit sadness because I want a family but how do you stay with someone that you don't want to be around, I don't want to be alone with him because that part of me that felt that way for him has gone. Any advice, should I make it work more?? And break his heart. 😔😔