Apologies in advance.

[AnonAnonAnonnnn]

This may be the ramblings of a mad woman (had a bottle of wine) but I will try my best to keep it at a minimum and also concise..

In bed with dh, have been cuddling, half asleep half awake. Starts pushing his dick against me and I tell him...how many times have I told you..if you want sex all you have to to is strike my leg a little? Give me a kiss? Some fucking foreplay. Even just 2 minutes and all be interested. But pushing your dick into me when I'm trying to kip is not gonna do anything.

He comes back with..this talk just makes me soft. When you're moaning at me.

I'm not even moanin. Im trying to communicate. Which is what you're supposed to do in relationships. I've told him for years now. Had heart to hearts about all this kind of stuff when it comes to sex but he just goes on like in nagging and I'm really not. I just dont understand why he doesnt ever listen.

I wasnt a bitch about it. Telling him get the fuck off me or anything like that. I made it obvious I was open to sex from the begging of the night but he seems to think that unless he get what he wants. His way. Then there is a problem.

I cant live my life like this. I'm not hiding and expecting him to guess what I want. 2 minutes of foreplay is too much for him. Cant be bothered. Uggghhhh

Well, why don't you tell him you're not having sex unless you feel like it, and then stick to that? Do you say no to having sex when you're not turned on?

@Watchkeys The first question has really stumped me. It's such a simple one yet I can't seem to come up with an answer to something so basic. I know I need to find out, but im unsure where to start.

To answer your second question, I think I would be here all day mulling over the reasons why I have let it get to this point. There are plenty examples to say the least.

You're not wrong in that he disregards my feelings if it makes him uncomfortable.

Quick example from last week - I had been at work all day butsorted dinner before and asked him to do something very small to finish off the meal but requiring an extra hour on the hob. 2 mins of his time at the most.
When I came home I saw he hadn't done it and when I mentioned it, he just made a "huh" noise. I ended up just having some toast instead. He asked what was the matter and I said I don't care that you forgot. I care you didnt apologise. Just a "I'm sorry I forgot" is too much. I dont expect grovelling. After that all I got from him was "everything is my fault! I can't do anything right!"
Just to avoid having to say sorry 🤨

Holy hell that was not a quick example. Sorry! The gist is that if I get upset, it's because I take things too seriously.

My ex was like this. He would gripe me a few times between my legs thinking that was a sensual or whatever way to turn me on then he would go straight to sex. No kissing, no softly stroking my arm/hip/leg, no kissing. Just some unsexy groping. I hated it. Foreplay didn’t exist. he only wanted me around for sex on tap.

So, in short, you have to feel things according to who he wants you to be, or else you're in the dog house, but he has no intention of bending even slightly to who you'd like him to be.

Why do you stay? Don't you want to be allowed to be you? Why aren't you choosing to be somewhere where you can be?