Ex DP moved out 2 years ago although we had split up for 2 years at that point but remained living together but as separately as we could for 2 years before that thanks to lockdown. Since he has moved out he has never paid maintenance and stopped paying for any childcare. Children then were 3 and 5 so one was in nursery for 3 days while I worked.
I upped my hours to full time and claimed a UC top up. I have the children for 4 days a week and he has them for 3. As I could no longer afford after school care I reduced my hours to 9-3pm every day and look after the children after school, even on his days. He collects them at about 5.30pm after he finishes work, so in practice I have them more than the overnights suggest. Despite his promises he has never paid maintenance, firstly he said he would when youngest was 4, then when she started school, then at Christmas. He claims it would be unfair for me to have maintenance and UC top up and that he can't afford it.
I have recently moved in with a new partner and am no longer eligible for UC. Ex DP is now claiming it and has added the children to his claim. I have asked for maintenance and he has come out with his standard emotional manipulation that I experienced for years with him, that I'm not putting the children first, he will have to move further away and that will affect his relationship with them, I'm greedy etc. it's made me doubt myself. My partner suggests going to the CSA but I feel guilty that I'm not putting the needs of the children first. It's not a huge amount of money and I'd probably put it into savings for them so am I just being silly?