How would you react if this were you? Long post, I wanted to avoid a drip feed so thanks if you stick with it!
DSis (30) is due her first child soon.
The last few years have been difficult within the family as she is very domineering and controlling and expects everyone to do what she wants to do. She is very emotionally volatile. However, she is also extremely intelligent and always has been, and uses this socially to her advantage e.g to manipulate others and make them feel small but do so in a casual way that can be brushed off as ‘oh don’t be sensitive I was only joking’.
Forced my DH and DBro’s GF (as good as SIL) to stand on the edge of her wedding photos and loudly said this was in case they were temporary she could crop them off. Both graciously stepped aside but I felt humiliated. Ignores DH and looks SIL up and down, talks over either of them whenever they try to speak. I couldn’t get time off work to go to her rescheduled hair trial and she cried her eyes out to my parents saying she didn’t understand why I don’t love her and care about her. When I reached out to her via text to apologise, she ignored me as she doesn’t want a virtual relationship - and then blocked my number. Basically, she’s very brazen and has gone largely unchallenged for too long.
DBro isn’t as sensitive as me and therefore can put it to the back of his mind and shrug it off, simply concluding she is not good for him and he will see her at major family events etc but draw the line there. Easy for him to do as he and his GF live overseas, whereas I live merely 5 minutes drive from her.
I haven’t gone no contact for a few reasons: we live so nearby, I suspect there may be MH reasons at play with DSis, etc. Parents have privately told me that they have noticed the behaviour but won’t challenge it whilst she is expecting as they are very anxious DSis would then turn around and say they were causing her stress, or stop her from seeing their first granddaughter.
So, I’m over a barrel. I’m not in a position to say anything to her. I want to meet DN but not sure how that will look when she refuses to even acknowledge DH. I want to be there to support my DSis but not at the cost of my/my family’s wellbeing. We are pre-DC but hope to start a family in the near future, I daydream about how nice it would be for everyone to get on but at this rate my kids won’t know their cousins sadly!