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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Getting myself into a bit of a mess...need advice

2 replies

PopsicleLove · 07/02/2008 21:09

I have only ever been in two proper relationships, the first one started when I was 16 and I had two children to him despite the fact that I didn't love him, I was just young and stupid and had never experienced a man showing interest in me before so I grabbed it while I could. Anyway that lasted 7 unhappy years.

I then got with another man, simply because I was scared of being on my own. Again I didn't love him, I just wanted someone.

I have never loved anyone, never experienced been in love.

Anyway since the last one I have done some soul searching, grown up a bit, had 3 years to myself, took up new hobbies etc and I'm so much happier and more confident, I'd never settle for 2nd best again, the next one would have to be pretty special.

Here is the problematic part...I'm falling for someone from one of my hobbies. I think about him all the time, I have feelings for him that I have never experienced before...I'm not going to say I'm in love because that would be premature but I really like him and keep imagining us together.

The thing is, he has never shown any interest back. He's friendly but that's it. I think he might be married (as he once brought his two kids to the class) but I cant find out as we don't really talk to each other that way.

Am I being immature again? this has taken me by suprise as these feelings have come from nowhere and he's really not my usual 'type'....if its a no no I want to stop thinking about him completely but I seem stuck not knowing...I'm scared of showing too much interest because if it IS a no no it would make things awkward at the class if he realised I liked him....any advice?

OP posts:
singsong · 07/02/2008 22:57

Perhaps you could find out firstly if he is married or single. Maybe by starting a conversation about his kids and then asking something about their mum? He might start to talk about his family set up.

Baffy · 08/02/2008 10:40

You need to get chatting to him. Build up a bit of a friendship and find out whether he is in a relationship.

If he is, then you have your answer, you can remain friends but put all other thoughts out of your head and focus your energies on finding someone else.

If he's single, then great! Friendship will be the best way to start things!

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