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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tenancy difficulty

4 replies

tabbyw1976 · 09/02/2023 08:23

Maybe I am looking too much into this !

Both on our late 40s..

Been with my partner 7 years engaged for two years .living in council house together for 5 years....we chose this property together as he was in a bachelor pad, but his name always been on the tenancy as he always been a council tenant .as I came from bad marriage and owed my own house when met but had to sell it due to divorce settlement etc etc then moved in with my partner..then moved into this house..

I have four kids ..he has none...three flown the nest and just my sons at home now he's in his teens..

Hope that make sense bit of background info..

Anyway we both pay half the bills .. etc etc everything always been 50/50

We like to get married but unfortunately can't afford the big do etc etc

But I thought time for me to go on the tenancy....

So approached the subject..and his face was a picture ..he said "don't need to as planning to get married..you can go on it then, but as long as you don't chuck me out!! "

I was a bit taken back! I said but why I don't go on it now as we can't afford to get married...he said" if you do you chuck me out" "you go on it when we're married"..

His comments amazed me and I don't get it, he don't like me talking about it now..he says why bring it up again...! .

why does ye go on about I chuck him out! We're not kids both nearly 50!!

Am I over reacting

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 09/02/2023 08:26

No you’re not. You’re right to be worried. And you know you don’t need a big do, no one does and especially if they can’t afford it - just get it done it at the registry office asap.

Roundandnour · 09/02/2023 08:33

He’s worried because as a childless single man he wouldn’t be rehoused if you did kick him out. He knows he was lucky to get a council place to begin with.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 09/02/2023 11:42

Roundandnour · 09/02/2023 08:33

He’s worried because as a childless single man he wouldn’t be rehoused if you did kick him out. He knows he was lucky to get a council place to begin with.

I agree with this.

Would it help if you explained to him that you would BOTH have your names on the tenancy agreement and therefore neither of you could "kick out" the other? Whereas right now it would be legally possible for him to just tell you to get out today.

He sounds like he's insecure in your relationship also a bit wilfully ignorant

xfan · 09/02/2023 12:17

Agree with previous posters.

How do you know your or his feelings won't change in a few years ' time, or in a decade?

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