At my wits end...

[NaatQ968]

My partner and I fell madly inlove two years ago. Engaged bought a house and welcomed our beautiful baby girl in October.

Things have been great. Although I have some sort of post natal anxiety... everytime baby cries I just want to comfort her, the crying actually breaks my heart. I find myself becoming very protective, I've worried about family members having her for a few hours and it's gotten to the point that when she cries with my partner I just want to take her and comfort her myself. He stayed home for four weeks after she was born, now it's just us, I love my time with her.

But I have developed some sort of anxiety and I know what I'm doing is wrong but I can't help it... like if she's with other people I'm worried they can't settle her and she's just upset.

This has rubbed off with me doing the same with my partner, she cried tonight in the bedroom whilst he was trying to settle her for a nap that she'd been fighting but was clearly shattered. I instantly went through and just took her. He got mad and is now saying I'm taking his job as dad away from him, that all he wants to do is be her dad and help her too. I sympathise and I know I shouldn't do this. I nag at him when he does things with her like the way he holds her or feeds her... again I know it's wrong to do this, but this anxiety has completely taken over me.

I don't know what to do...

Not sleeping can also be a sign of PND.
Are you taking a good multi vitamin? Often after a pregnancy our bodies are depleted of nutrients as the baby takes what he/she needs. Low nutrient levels can contribute to anxiety.
Have you been tested for anemia? Can also cause anxiousness.
Definitely speak to HV - before 22nd if possible

Just sending a hand hold and second other posters saying please do pursue all possible help as PND is a real thing and requires intervention and support. No-one is going to use this against you - it is a medical issue that you can’t control. With the right support things will rebalance in time.

In the meanwhile I would focus on you and your partner spending time with your gorgeous DD and, if you can, letting him help. Please show him this thread or tell him you’re worried about PND so he can do some research about it as well. This will hopefully help him see that you are not trying to push him away.

Don't worry about other people having time alone with your baby just yet, unless you really need them to. If your mum and dad can visit/you can go there and spend time all together that’s great. If you can have a shower or a lie down while they watch her that’s great too. But don’t feel you have to leave her.

I don’t think I left mine with anyone for more than an hour at that age (and that was only their dad if I was going for a walk or something). Lots of new mums like to be close to their babies - don’t put yourself under pressure to leave her if you don’t want to. It sounds like you’re struggling enough being in a separate room. No need to run before you can walk.

Good luck - I hope you get that referral quick smart.