Is this abuse ?

[Kat2023]

I’m desperate for some help but I don’t know if I’m overreacting…. I’m living with my ex as we’re selling our home . We broke up nearly a year ago. He hounds me with messages , emails and over the last few months it’s got physical. He’s grabbed me by the throat , pushed me , thrown me over the bed and gets in my face saying he hopes I have anxiety attacks every night. He also said he had an affair for 18 months when we were together.
Hes also punched a hole in our wall.
Ive blocked his number and email so I don’t receive anything but I’m getting desperate. I don’t want to leave my home because I’m scared he’ll just drag the sale on and on.
One minute he’s nice the next he terrifies me.

Of course it's abuse. Drop the price get it sold and get away from him. Tell the police he's threatening you and been violent. Have you got kids? Anyone you can stay with? Just get away from him asap - you know how these bastards get their own back just make sure you're not next. Good luck be strong don't hesitate just make the decision, DO NOT tell him in advance or warn him and just go. Stay safe x

Definitely abuse! I'd get out of there as soin as it's safe to do so and go and stay with a family member or friend. Pack a big suit case so u have enough stuff to get you by. Like pp said don't tell him you're leaving and contact tne police when you're in a safe place just to give him them a heads up about his violent tendancies to keep u safe. Please take care of yourself xx

Yes it’s abuse.
Phone Women’s Aid for help,advice and support.
Is the house actually up for sale?
Meanwhile you could get a mini spy camera from Argos and get evidence of the abuse and show the police.
Sorry you’re going through this.
I was in similar situation but with verbal and psychological abuse.
I’m now free of him.
There is light at the end of the tunnel even if at times it seems there isn’t.
Your priority is to keep yourself safe

Agree with others, get out asap

Yes it’s abuse. Next time call the police, and call every single time. In the meantime if the house is on the market chivvy up the estate agent. Can you go to family or friends?

See a solicitor today. You could get an Occupation Order to get him out of the house straight away until it’s sold, on the basis of domestic violence.

hey yes it's a abuse and if he's starting to get physical and grabbing you by the throat then it's escalating and I think you are at risk.

Ending a relationship is one of the factors that can contribute to abuse escalating.

I think you should seek some advice - as PP said, Women's aid is a good place to start.

You would do well to report this to the police, so that they are aware, they may put a SIG marker on your address so that they know to get there quickly if you call.

You wouldn't necessarily have to leave your home, you could have him removed, and you could have an Occupation Order to prevent him from accessing the property. I think you would do well to refer yourself in to the IDVA service - they can help you with safety planning and legal advice, even if you decide to stay there with him. they will also help you navigate any legal orders if necessary, can help you to access services to improve security in your home if you have him removed, can help with advice on all sorts of things.

It sounds as though harassment and stalking could poss be a problem after you/he leaves and I think you'd do well to have some support.

I think the fact that you're asking if these things are abuse are an indication that this has been happening a while and that unreasonable behaviour has become a bit normal in your relationship - what you're describing is certainly abuse, it's not acceptable, and it sounds risky for you to stay in that situation. I hope you are ok, please do think about getting support so that you are not on our own with it all. Best of luck.