How do I get over this?

[Sasha456]

DH has never been faithful during our eight year marriage. Like never. Found out in a drip drip fashion over the last six months that he has been cheating with ONS, at least one longer affair and I most likely prostitutes on lads weekend always. He went on all of these nights out even had we had children because I literally never suspected a thing. He used to get cross about other men being unfaithful and would literally lie to my face over and over again.
Now, I know the truth / ex friends etc. have come forward to tell me exactly what has been going on, I cannot get over the mask my husband has worn for so long. I made huge life changing decisions based on a lie and I cannot cope with that. How do you recover? How do your children recover? I have no closure from him at all - it is what it is according to him.

You need to kick him out and hit him where it hurts either money/reputation to change the narrative of him trying to take you as a fool. #doit

You recover by moving on: ducks in a row, solicitor, CMS, lots of love and reassurance for the children.

It’s a hard journey, but worth it for your self-respect and to model to your children how to deal with a cheat.

I’ll be tough here OP. You recover by moving on with your life. Your marriage is a sham because of your sleazeball husband. He will never, ever change. The fact that people are coming forward is devastating, and I’d bet you still don’t even know the half of it. You need to get checked for stds asap. He has pulled the wool over your eyes for 8 years, and is clearly capable of saying the right things to dupe you. You need to take back your dignity, move on and don’t look back.

You're not still with him are you? If so, that should be your first step. He clearly has no regard for you or your children, so you recover by leaving him behind.

No - we are not still together but I am heartbroken over what I know was a sham marriage and humiliated that others knew and I had no idea. My husband ‘would have been the last man you would have considered’. He also had so many opportunities before marriage and children to tell me the truth but didn’t and I can’t understand it. Thank you for everyone’s replies.

You MUST teach your children how to treat others. Don’t let this become learned behaviour. At least they have one decent parent with some degree of integrity.

It is heartbreaking. It's horrible. Same thing happened to me. Among other horrible things he did.

Utter betrayal. Putting your health at risk.

There is something very wrong with him. And my stbexh.

But I get consumed with rage at how fucking dare he feelings. Your rage will come.

And at the faux disapproval of other skanky men who do this.

That is all they are. Skanky, slimy disgusting creatures.

Please divorce and never speak to him again unless you are making functional arrangements about childcare or finances.

These people are often very manipulative and will try and worm their way back in to your life. Don't let this happen - it did to me too - and they just cause distress, trauma and shame all over again.

Don’t feel humiliated about it. If I knew you both and knew about his behaviour, it would only be him I would be thinking poorly of. I would be thinking good on you for leaving the relationship.

Please don't feel humiliated or embarrassed. Anyone who knows what he did will feel disgusted by his behaviour. Find your anger towards his vile behaviour and let that trump your heartbreak. It might be helpful to have some counselling where you can vent in a safe space and to help you move forward. Also as others have said get checked for stds asap. You will be OK, it's tough now but soon you will be relieved to have that cheating scumbag out of your life.