Would you care about your DH following another woman on Instagram

[Cathyhon]

The title makes me sound crazy but just bare with me! I didn’t know how else to word it🤔

My husband follows less than 15 people on Instagram, nearly all of those people are close family members and a few football players. I was looking through his followings this evening and I noticed that he was following another woman, her pictures are quite??? How shall I put this without sounding like a prude, explicit? Not sure if that’s the right word I should be using but I hope you get the point, a lot of bra photos basically. Just out of curiosity I asked him how he knows her as she does follow him back may I add, he told me that he knew her from work which I found quite odd as he works in quite a male dominant job and doesn’t follow anybody else from work male or female. He didn’t say much else as he was heading of to bed anyway

I left it at that as I didn’t want to look like a crazy person. Would you be ok with this? And am I overthinking

Completely inappropriate. If the majority of the photos are sexy in some way and he doesn't follow anyone else from work then she's very unlikely to be a colleague. He's wanking to her pictures and lying about it to you.

To that I'd add, if you were 100% comfortable with it you wouldn't be seeking reassurance on here and from your friend. Maybe you should listen to you own voice and what you want. You're allowed to have a boundary that says you don't want your partner getting off to thirst traps on instagram, seeing as (I'm guessing) you don't do the same.

If he actually knows her then it's inappropriate

Yeah I wouldn't like it.

Thank you for this! I definitely wasn’t stalking my own DH🙄

I wouldnt like it either.

It would bother me too. I have no interest in being the "cool" wife who turns a blind eye and looks foolish.

I actually bnoticed the other day that I was following someone who's fairly explicit. Iust have clicked follow at some point

You are overthinking

I wouldn't be too happy about it but a lot of regular women (i.e. not Only Fans models) post these types of photos on instagram.

Surely the most sensible idea is that she followed him and he followed her back? Is she trying to get an only fans page off the ground or something. Unless your husband is a massive creep you are over thinking this to the max. Even if he did follow her what do you think that means? That he fancies someone else? Hate to break it to you but he will have noticed that other women are good looking.

Stop controlling what he does

I would not be ok with this but I disagree it's 'wanking material ' pornography isn't exactly difficult to access.

I wouldn't like it either, just as much as he wouldn't like me following men posing in their pants. Just a bit of respect really.

OP is not stalking or controlling, she just asked a question if other people would be bothered.

What is your problem?

Every time this issue comes up, people try to shame the OP and accuse them of being controlling.

Ultimately, YOU set the boundaries in YOUR relationship and what is acceptable to one person might be unacceptable to someone else. Other people who say they are fine with it are not relevant. Because those are their boundaries.

If this makes you uncomfortable, or feel a certain way (and for the record, I think this is totally inappropriate and disrespectful to you) then you need to communicate with your partner about it. That’s not to say “you must unfollow them”…but just explain that you aren’t comfortable because of the types of images she posts and just have a conversation about it. Gauge his reaction. In a healthy partnership you should be considerate of the other persons feelings.