Hi, I'm just after some advice. I'm 38 and finally met someone I genuinely felt a connection to, he was recently out of a 15 year relationship/marriage with a young child but there didn't seem to be any red flags (although perhaps being newly separated is the biggest red flag of all). We spoke for four months and went on some wonderful dates - we lived in different cities and my work meant we were unable to meet as much as we'd have liked but we were in touch every day, it felt mutual, we both seemed to like and respect each other. My work situation changed and we thought we'd see each other a little more regularly but then he ended things a few weeks ago by text. I honestly thought he was better than that. He said when we'd had sex it hadn't always felt right.
We've only had sex three times with lengthy gaps in between and he had some performance issues, either unable to come or unable to stay hard, but I was understanding and hadn't taken it personally. He thinks this is a sign we should just be friends, I think it's more of him issue than an us issue, as he didn't seem surprised by it, he just seemed really shy which I put down to being with the same person for so long. Since the breakup he's said he thinks I'm amazing and he's never met anyone like me and says he misses talking to me.
I think there is so much there to throw it away on the basis of the sex not being quite perfect yet seems a real waste and something we could have communicated openly about as we did have good chat (honestly I didn't think the sex was terrible, I've had far worse!). I told him I can't be his friend but the last few weeks without him have been horrible.
I wasn't planning our future or anything unhealthy like that, I was just really enjoying getting to know him and everything had felt good, until it didn't. I've dated a lot so I know it's unusual to feel like this about someone. I'm not going to wait and hope, but I just wonder if he'll shut me out forever or he'll realise that maybe the sex thing isn't about me. I've always had good reports about this from other partners and am confident in bed. I am also thought of as attractive (not bragging). He's made me feel unattractive and unconfident but I feel like he's projecting. Any advice? I haven't blocked him but I am not in touch with him right now.