He hit me. Should I report it?

[Anon3421]

My ex partner and I are in the process of separating and selling the house. We have been living together in the house on and off since the relationship ended. Some days are more amicable than others, but this weekend things escalated.

He left for the weekend with no prewarning, assuming I had no plans and would be around to look after our dogs. On Sunday afternoon I asked if we could talk when he returned as I was frustrated at his lack of communication (also one of the main reasons behind our split). On his return he ignored me and went straight upstairs. I gave him some space for 30 minutes and then went up to ask if he would mind walking the dogs. This led to a back and forth argument between us as he refused. Realising that the conversation was going nowhere, I left the room to walk the dogs, but before I did, I inexplicably decided to take an item of his clothing from the bed with me and hid it downstairs. (Very childish, I know). He came bounding down after me, demanding his clothing back and in retaliation picked up my phone and smashed it against the wall. I responded by grabbing his arm and told him not to touch my things, he told me to let go or he would hurt me, I refused so he punched me in the face causing me to fall to the floor. I managed to grab my phone and called 999. He immediately took the phone off of me and hung up. I had a split lip and very bruised nose. I was screaming/crying telling him to leave the house and he refused telling me this was all my fault and that I should be the one to leave.

I left to get space and walk the dogs and on my return he told me he was going.

I haven't reported it to the police for 2 reasons, 1) we work for the same company and it just seems so messy from that perspective 2) I don't have any evidence as such, just photos of my face and a bloodied jumper sleeve and when you combine the 2 reasons together I'm worried that I could put my own job at risk.

We don't have any children, we were trying for 8 months prior to separating and he's never dome anything like this to me before.

He is now refusing to acknowledge what he did and has said I am lying and it didn't happen. This makes me really angry.

Should I report it? Or would I be acting out of anger? I don't want him to be severely impacted as I genuinely don't think he would do something like this again. He normally hates confrontation. But the fact he's trying to manipulate the truth is pushing me to wanting a record of it.

TIA.

You probably genuinely believed he wouldn't do it the first time.

Absolutely report it. Thers no excuse to punch someone in the face. Let alone a woman.

If there's a next time he could kill you.

Also, one of you needs to move out whilst the house sells. Hopefully the police will tell him not to come back there whilst you are still there. That'll kill 2 birds with one stone.

He punchhed a woman in the face op. That needs to be on a record somewhere.

Yes report it. I think you need to because you still have to have contact with him regarding the dogs and house. It could, of course be a one off, but he could become threatening again and the more evidence you have, the easier to get a restraining order or whatever if it is needed.
Does your company offer a counselling helpline for employees. I would also phone them if so as they will help you work through the issues with you being in the same firm. My instinct would be to report it at work also for your own safety but I'd explore the possible repercussions with someone neutral like the counselling line before hand.
When something traumatic happens, one instinct can be to try and go on as if nothing has happened because you are in shock and haven't processed things yet. Make sure your disinclination to speak to people about it isn't just this shock process in action.

Ps: you have plenty of evidence if you have pictures of your bruising.

You should absolutely report it. But also one of you immediately needs to move out, you need to sort out who will have the dogs, conversation should be absolute necessary minimum too sort those things out and literally nothing more should be said between you.

To be clear, under no circumstances should you be pressing him to admit anything or discussing what happened.

Report it. It's possible this will meet the threshold for a Domestic Violence Protection Order. This is granted by magistrates court and places restrictions on suspect - usually 28 day ban from the home. This will give you (legally enforceable) space to make plans. Make no mistake. This man is dangerous. Also an utter arsehole. Make sure you are with someone and / or in a safe place.

You should absolutely report it - and perhaps a Claire’s law request while you’re at it.

Definitely report it

Yes. Report it.

Report the nasty shit.

Report it. He did it. Your the victim. It's unlikely the tables will turn.

Jesus Christ just report it.

It's not good for either of you to be in the house together so one of you needs to leave too.

Please report it. And I hope you are ok xxxx

Yes report it. I felt like you over death threats from my ex. I reported on the advice on MN's. It culminated with my ex and his current GF having a fight and a knife was involved 24 hours on from my death threat.

I was so relieved I reported it in the end because I was looked after and protected.

It's a different situation in that we have children together but I then have grounds to take things further to protect me and my children.

It's not only about his behaviour being unquestionably disgraceful now, but it's future behaviour you'll also be protected from.

Of course you should be assaulted you. That's battery or at least common assault.

Taking the item was childish... but nothing gives him the right to assault/beat you.

You did not deserve to be hit. He has committed a crime.

Please report this, this could save a woman in the future from his harm. Hope you are ok x

Report it.

Report it.

He punched you in the face.

If you had a daughter, what would you tell her to do in this situation? Of course you should report it.

You absolutely need to report it. In terms of your workplace I'd also have a conversation with a manager confidentially and let them know this happened and its being dealt with but they need to keep him away from you. Your workplace should have a domestic abuse policy and should support you. Noone else you work with needs to know unless you want them to. It doesn't matter the circumstances or what you were doing at the time, his behaviour is massively out of line and it's a crime. Ask the police to serve him with a pin to keep him away from the property and update your solicitor and request a non molestation order. He needs to move out and all further communication needs to go through solicitors. He could seriously hurt you or worse if this escalated further.

So you hid his item he smashed your phone because you wouldn’t give it back

you physically grabbed him and refused to let go of him he punched you to make you let go of him

report the full story and get out

of course of course the punch takes it to another level
but there’s no way you 2 can. Be in the sss as me house it’s to volatile

I reported something similar via 101 online. The police came to see me the next day and they asked me what I wanted to happen: either them prosecute him, them go round and give a warning or just keep it on record. I chose record as I was worried about repercussions but I was glad there was a record in case of future problems.

The photos and the dropped 999 call will be supporting evidence. And why would your job be at risk? You can hardly be sacked for being a victim of domestic violence.

Get out ASAP. No excuse for his actions.