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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please? Stuck

8 replies

SZM · 06/02/2023 13:13

Hello.
In a long Distance Relationship (3 hrs drive) for around a year now. He is a single Dad.

Was supposed to be staying for a few days over Xmas, him, his child and his elderly parents all ill. So i said would be best to leave it till all is better. All seemed fine. Went away last minute to a remote cottage no wifi/poor signal that my friend owns with our dogs. Told him. Came back 3 days later asked if he was free to talk, took him a whole 24hrs to reply with a sorry not really everybody still poorly and he had dropped a X from the text... Checked in next day to see how everybody was. Again the X's dropped and no calling me babe. Left him a few days, he usually iniates 8/10. I then got i don't want to interact with anyone not you it's me. So i said ok i respect that. Was starting to get worried he has seemed fed up recently.

Still hadn't heard 4 days later so just a are you ok? I got a long winded just about, he's hardly slept, child still coughing and the X still dropped. Asked if he wanted to talk got a no thank you. So said i was a little worried and i was here. I got back. ' I don't want you to worry you go have fun honestly all is ok. That was 24 days ago now and we haven't spoken. We always spoke/text daily. I really am struggling. I don't want to be in his face but i really want to know what is going on now it's driving me insane. He obviously doesn't want to talk to me and i am guessing is sulking but almost a month is abit too much!!

OP posts:
Dodecaheidyin · 06/02/2023 13:19

Listen to what he's telling you.

Start thinking about yourself, what you want, don't waste time waiting about for someone who is too weak to end a relationship properly.

Flowers
Livelifelaughter · 06/02/2023 13:21

To be honest after a year I wouldn't be fixated by a who calls who first....if you want to speak to him then just call him. Honestly it will drive you crackers. I wouldn't read too much into Xs in messages, my boyfriend doesn't really do it, but always holds my hand and blows a kiss after every call .... just ask to see him, but I would try not to catastrophise...

changeit221 · 06/02/2023 13:22

He's broken up with you. He just hasn't bothered to tell you.

It's awful behaviour regardless of what else he has going on in his life right now.

Try to forget about him and move on. I wouldn't message him again and in your position I wouldn't respond if he ever messages again.

SZM · 06/02/2023 13:52

Just to clarify the Xs. We just have a 'thing' where we always send 3. Which he dropped to two. Done on purpose obviously!

Thank you. I have known him for 17 yrs so finding it very difficult to believe he would just drop me like that.

Whatever it is i am finding it so difficult without a answer/explanation. These 3 weeks have literally been hell.

OP posts:
OldEvilOwl · 06/02/2023 13:55

Ask him

Livelifelaughter · 06/02/2023 13:57

SZM · 06/02/2023 13:52

Just to clarify the Xs. We just have a 'thing' where we always send 3. Which he dropped to two. Done on purpose obviously!

Thank you. I have known him for 17 yrs so finding it very difficult to believe he would just drop me like that.

Whatever it is i am finding it so difficult without a answer/explanation. These 3 weeks have literally been hell.

OP I am sorry this is so painful. Just phone and tell him what you want from him, and tell him how this situation is making you feel. Have a friend near by to support you.

SZM · 06/02/2023 14:25

Thank you :)

Literally my friends and family have all said wait for him to get in touch, which i was happy to do and to respect his space but i think getting on for a month is too much! It's the not knowing!

OP posts:
SZM · 07/02/2023 20:21

Just wanted to say thank you.

I ended up messaging. I got paragraphs of how sorry he is, and that basically there can't be an us. He is struggling mentally and no energy for anything let alone me. Lots of excuses and he is sorry for pushing me away. I hope he gets himself better. I don't really understand it but will respect him.

OP posts:
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